Omonaikee

Winning entry: THE MAN IN THE BACK SEAT 2

2012-02-13T15:28:00.000+01:00

I threw out a challenge to readers to rewrite a story I had written from the point of view of another character in it, if you missed it, see it here. I got interesting responses which I will feature today and Thursday but my winning entry was from Adebisi whose entry is featured today! Thank you to everyone who sent their entry! I hope you enjoy both points of view!

HER STORY

I walked ahead of theman who stood at the bus stop waiting for a taxi so I could stop one first.Bending down to adjust my shoe, I didn’t see a green coloured taxi approach.Before I could, the man stopped it and slid into the backseat. I let out a hissas I watched them go. Suddenly the car stopped in its tracks and reversed to astop in front of me.

"I am heading toZone 6, can I drop you off somewhere?" the man in the backseat asked.

I got in.

"My name is Ikenna,what's yours?

“Susan". I lied.

"Do you live aroundhere" he inquired.

"Why do youask?" I demanded.

“Er, I was justasking" he responded and then fell silent.

Fishing for a comb in mybag, I started to brush my hair briskly. I extended my arm too far and my elbowhit his face.

"Aw" hegrimaced holding his face.

"Did I hit youreye?" I asked with concern.

He glared at me. I couldsee his left eye was beginning to water.

"No, youdidn't".

I was sorry and I toldhim. We didn’t say much else till I got off at my stop.

Later I and my team wentfor a presentation in a company whose account I was vying for. We were usheredinto the boardroom and told the key decision maker would join us soon.

Minutes later, the dooropened to admit a tall frame. It was the man in the taxi,Ikenna.

I froze.

HIS STORY:

I watched her make her way to the bus stop in such a hurry. “Well”, I thought, “it’s rush hour and everyone is trying tomake it somewhere in good time”. And then she stopped suddenly, bending over to fiddle with hershoes, just then I see a taxi coming along and flag it down…

“Hey driver, hold it. Go back to where that lady in the green dress is standing”. She looked surprised tosee the taxi come back, and then I ask if I could drop her off somewhere alongmy route. We drove off and I looktowards her

“I am Ikenna, and you are?”

“Susan” she said.

“Do you live around here?” I asked.

“Why do you ask?” she replied. She must think I aminterested in her.

“Just asking” I replied.

She brought out a hair brush and started brushing her hair.

“She must be trying to impress me now” I thought.

And then athud on my face from her over extended arm.

“Aw” I exclaim.

“Oh, did I hit your eye?” she asked.

“And what did she think she hit” I thought, “a statue”?

“No you didn’t” I said with a watery left eye.

She lowered her arm, stopped brushing and said “I am sorry”.

No need to respond, let’s just drop you off at your stop.

Its 11:55am, I am told the representatives of the marketingcompany are already waiting for me in the boardroom. I open the door to the boardroom to see two ladies seated,one has her head buried in some materials. I thought I had seen that green dressbefore, and then she looks up…it’s the lady from the taxi this morning.

Susan!

INTERVIEW: MYNE WHITMAN

2012-02-01T16:15:00.000+01:00

"Writing under a pen name gives me thefreedom to write with less worry that readers think my books are about mypersonal life, or about my friends and the people close to me" - Myne Whitman

Blogging…

I usually try to start early because Ilive in a far corner of the world. I get my morning stuff done, and then writeon the manuscript I have in progress for a couple of hours or so. After that, Ido some other personal stuff and get to blog rounds and my book promotion forabout three hours. I also make sure my website, naijastories is online, Ischedule and edit stories that will go up, and sometimes leave reviews/commentson certain submissions.

Her Readers…

When I firststarted to write, it was just for myself, and something I felt my friends andfamily would enjoy. When I decided to take writing seriously, my first instinctwas to write for a particular agent or publisher, however blogging changed allthat. Because my blog received an immediate feedback to the snippets I posted,I realized that I have to write for the readers. And since then, I have becomeused to it, and in fact, it boosts my creativity and the drive to satisfy whatthey want.

Being a Nigerian writer…

I definitely felt the effects of the gapin opportunities available to a Nigerian writer. I tried to find a publisherfor some of the stories I wrote while in University and hit a brick wall. Therewere only a couple of publishers in the market then and they weren’t taking anynew manuscripts. Till date, things haven’t changed much.

To be honest, I won’t say moving outsidethe country has really impacted my writing so much. For instance, I wasblogging back in Nigeria in 2005 and posting my poetry online, even though Iwas accessing the internet through the cyber café. The main impact on mywriting was deciding to do it full time. This gave me the latitude to do moreresearch and find out more about the options available.

Online self-publishing for example isavailable from Nigeria and has been used by Nigerian authors since 2001, manyof those books are still for sale on Amazon.com till date. It was when I hadall this information that I was motivated to be the one to determine my ownwriting career rather than forever waiting for a publisher.

Being rejected by publishers…

It made me realize that I wasn’t intowriting for validation from publishers, and that as I had already known, Idon’t like taking no for an answer. I like pushing through walls and thestumbling block from these initial channels only helped motivate me to find andor develop alternative ways by myself.

Cupid series

That was one of my most favorite times in the blogging community, but also a lot of hard work. The experience taught me that I could actually turn this blogging hobby of mine into something professional. It started from discussions with my husband on what to do on my blog while waiting for the publication of my first book. I brought up the idea of an interactive story, and together we fashioned out the guidelines and story. (When asked what she loves about writing poems for her husband she said it makes her heart go kpokpodikpo, and kedike! lol!)

It was very encouraging that when I called for submissions, there was an influx of interest. I coordinated by responding promptly to inquiries, checking out the blogs/writing samples of those interested, bringing them up to date on the story so far, and editing their final submissions to ensure continuity. From my blog, we moved to a dedicated website which I promoted to ensure we had good reach. It was an intensive but fulfilling experience, especially knowing that till date; more than a thousand copies of the free eBook have been downloaded.

Naija Stories…

Writers use the platform for peer reviewand as a networking community. Most of the members aspire to be authors andrealize that their first draft may not be as good as it should. They post theirstories so that other writers can critique and review them. They go away withthis feedback to redraft and edit their manuscripts. We also have a lot of editors,literary agents, publishers and journalists as members. They either use the admin of the site as aconduit to offer opportunities to the writers or they approach them directlythrough our private messaging service.

We currently have our stories running ina newspaper in Lagos, as well as being read on radio. This spreads the name ofthe writers and for some, this is their dream – to be read or heard by anaudience bigger than they can imagine. Other ways it has helped is by servingas an online portfolio of writing. One of our members was recently accepted fora creative writing and journalism course at an Australian University after hesent a link of his author page on Naijastories to the admission officials. Byalso being on our email list, our registered members receive regular updates ofwriting news, including publishing opportunities, writing tips, and contests.

A Love Rekindled…

ALR is a book that made me cry whilewriting it, and some of the readers have wrote in that they felt the same waytoo. The love in A Love Rekindled is very intense and heart breaking at thesame time as uplifting. I think readers would enjoy the emotional experience ofthis version of love as well as learn some history and background of Nigeria.

Handling Criticism…

Itnever gets easier, lol. The last bad review I got was on Amazon, and I wantedto knock my head on the wall. However, it helps to have other things to takeyour mind off it… And what can I say, it keeps selling J

Book turned to movie …

It is a definitely a possibity and oneI’m really looking forward to…, I already have my ideas on the actors and how Iwant it to be. WhatI usually do in such instances is begin to plan, I start laying down actionplans, searching out gatekeepers (if any), and calculating resources and so onthat would be necessary to accomplish such a goal.

Trivia

She studied biological sciences as her first degree (same as me) and herproject work was on the common beansweevil- Callosobrochus Maculatus. “I researched on the effect the weevil hadon different varieties of cowpea” she says.

YOUR TURN: THE MAN IN THE BACKSEAT

2012-01-27T10:03:00.000+01:00

Hi everyone, I am here to introduce a new feature! Last year I wrote an article and invited readers to write a response from the point of view of another character in the story. I was excited at the response of a reader (see my article here and the response here), so I am doing a series where YOU can not only read my stories but YOU can be in it too! Every last week of the month, I will condense a full story into a flash fiction piece of less than 300 words, then you can rewrite the story from the point of view of any one of the characters in it but in 300 words or less. Send your story to omonaikee@yahoo.com, the most creative response will be published. Remember you don't have to be a writer to write, there are no rules, just have fun with it!

THE MAN IN THE BACK SEAT

I walked ahead of the man who stood at thebus stop waiting for a taxi so I could stop one first. Bending down to adjustmy shoe, I didn’t see a green coloured taxi approach. Before I could, the man stoppedit and slid into the backseat. I let out a hiss as I watched them go. Suddenlythe car stopped in its tracks and reversed to a stop in front of me.

"I am heading to Zone 6, can I dropyou off somewhere?" the man in the backseat asked.

I got in.

"My name is Ikenna, what's yours?

“Susan". I lied.

"Do you live around here" heinquired.

"Why do you ask?" I demanded.

“Er, I was just asking" he respondedand then fell silent.

Fishing for a comb in my bag, I started tobrush my hair briskly. I extended my arm too far and my elbow hit his face.

"Aw" he grimaced holding his face.

"Did I hit your eye?" I askedwith concern.

He glared at me. I could see his left eye wasbeginning to water.

"No, you didn't".

I was sorry and I told him. We didn’t saymuch else till I got off at my stop.

Later I and my team went for a presentationin a company whose account I was vying for. We were ushered into the boardroomand told the key decision maker would join us soon.

Minutes later, the door opened to admit atall frame. It was the man in the taxi, Ikenna.

I froze.

THE END

Good luck with your responses and oh, You can find the full story here

MEET AN AUTHOR and blogger after my heart- TERALYN ROSE PILGRIM!

2012-01-15T17:48:00.001+01:00

I am absolutely proud of myself for interviewing TERALYN ROSE PILGRIM as my very first blog guest this year and i'll tell you why. I found her blog on Myne Whitman's blog roll one day and it didn't take me too long to get hooked on her sincere and sweet persona. She's an author and more importantly, she's a friendly soul willing to teach all who thread the path of wordsmithery, the things she has and is still learning on her own journey. I think that is more than generous, it is simply Teralyn! I absolutely enjoy reading her and you will too, delish!

Teralyn

Omonaikee : Your blog is a resource for writers just by itself; it seems to come easy to you to teach what you learn. Does this reflective journaling of your journey help you as much as it helps your readers who read what you have written?

Teralyn : Aw, you’re so sweet! Blogging comes easily to me because I’ve kept journals and notebooks since I was a kid. I’ve always enjoyed writing 500 words or so of my thoughts. My blog is especially helpful because it causes me to put conscious thought into what I’m doing as a writer, which helps me learn faster.

Omonaikee: Your blog shows your struggles with your inner critic and how you attack that critical voice in your head. Where does that positivity come from that makes you try to turn things around when you feel discouraged and are justifiably so?

Teralyn: Over the years, I’ve been through enough ups and downs to recognize patterns. I know my down days only last between one and seven days. I know I always get back up again. I know there’s an answer to every question, a solution to every problem, and a cure to every weakness. Once I realized that, I stopped taking doubt so seriously.

Omonaikee: Why historical fiction?

Teralyn: I love good stories, and history is full of them. I never thought I would write historical fiction, but every now and then I’d hear about a person or event and think, “That story has to be told.” Eventually, I had more historical fiction ideas than fiction.

Omonaikee: Writers are plagued by melodramatic moods that lift them to the heights of euphoria with inspiration or plunge them into the depths of despair with disappointment. Then there are the deadlines, the blank pages, the badly behaved characters (who make themselves so difficult to create!) and of course, the other aspects of your life! How do you maintain a relaxed attitude to it all?

Teralyn: I’m relaxed because I made friends with other melodramatic authors. Those people are so boring. After hearing them complain, brag, share their plethora of ideas with people who don’t care, and otherwise only talk about themselves, I realized we often put ourselves on a pedestal for being artistic. I got over myself, and now I feel like a normal person (which I am).

Omonaikee: Is there that character you have created that was based on yourself howbeit remotely?

Teralyn: Actually, last year I wrote a book about two lovers who are my ying and yang: Savvy is everything happy and positive about me, whereas Eric is my dark side. Creating them was easy because I’m already familiar with their characteristics.

Omonaikee: You develop your stories painstakingly and put in a lot of research- I actually had no idea how intense it can get doing a novel based on ancient history! Does it get easier with the second novel? Is there a learning curve? Have you found better ways to do the required work faster?

Teralyn: Goodness, yes. I made so many mistakes while researching for my novel about the Vestal Virgins. I wasted more time than I care to think about. Now I print every web page and article, buy the books I read, highlight everything, organize my notes, keep track of the sources, etc. Writing in general gets easier with your second novel, too.

Omonaikee: I see a collaborative approach in your writing; from getting feedback from groups, your online community and your blog followers to the creativity you employ to keep your blog interactive and fresh (blogfests, funny stories and games). Is this a strategy and how much further have you gotten using your blog this way?

Teralyn: I owe everything to the writers who have helped me along the way. Sacred Fire went through two critique groups and ten beta readers, and I’m not done with it yet. If it takes a village to raise a child, it takes a city to publish a book! I have learned more from the writers I interact with than I imagined I could.

Omonaikee: I hadn’t heard of Nanowrimo (competition where writers write an entire novel of 50,000 words in just 30days) until your blog! What has participating twice in a row, in this annual competition taught you about your writing ability, your resilience, your inner editor/critic … how has it helped you generally?

Teralyn: This was one of the best things I’ve done for my writing career. The first year, I was working out of a two-year writer’s block. NaNoWriMo got me out of it. The program changed all my ideas about writing; that I can be fast and flexible, that I can write every day, that not everything has to be perfect. The second year, I could see how much I improved from the last, and it was a thrilling feeling.

THE TOP TEN

Teralyn Pilgrims Top Ten action steps that can move you closer from being a published-author hopeful turned blogger to being a writer with at least a complete manuscript are…

1. Doubts waste time. You’re going to write the book anyway, whether you make yourself suffer or not.

2. Take yourself seriously, but not too seriously.

3. Read about other writers; how they work, the struggles they go through, and what kind of triumphs are in store for you. They can be a tremendous resource.

4. Make writing friends. You need their support, experience, and advice.

5. Make outlines! If I start a book without a good outline, it screws everything up. I like to write my query letter before my novel to help me focus on what’s important in the story.

6. Read as many books as you can. You’ll be shocked how much you can learn by seeing other authors at work.

7. Read your genre. If you read books outside your genre, you’ll pick up methods that aren’t appropriate for your book and you’ll miss out on learning how to write in your style.

8. Don’t be afraid to make changes in your novel. I’ve gutted my book, re-stuffed it, turned it upside down and inside out, but the important parts are the same.

9. Remember why you write. You don’t have to do this. No one will frown on you if you walk away. You’re doing it because you love it.

10. Have fun! If you’re not having fun, something needs to change.

Read my feature on her blog here

NEW YEAR, NEW IMPROVEMENTS!

2012-01-12T13:06:00.008+01:00

Hello everyone, I have come out of a New Year induced retreat to as they say “clear the cobwebs” which have gathered on my page. Speaking of cobwebs, I was away for the Christmas and New year holidays and was welcomed by dusty furniture when I returned to my apartment. It took sheer will power to mobilize my tired bones to chase dust out of every fabric, nook and cranny of my house but once done, it was worth every aching muscle.

Like my ordeal with the house, a retreat gives you the opportunity to look inwards and assess what needs cleaning, what needs to be thrown away and what needs to be added. And while it can be tasking, it is well worth the effort and time. My blog has also benefited from my spring cleaning. If you were here last year, you’d notice the changes in the side bars like my new twitter handle to the left and I even included a “user manual” and “contact me” tab at the top of the page. If it looks the same to you, never mind! But after a few hours of HTML codes, google searches and navigating the dashboard, I succeeded in:

Putting up some new features.
Getting rid of clutter and organizing information into pages and segments on the sidebar.
Assessing the general direction my blog has taken in the past years
Putting together a ready list of things I would like to do with it this year

So there is a lot to look forward to. Reading my list once again presents an analogy. The beginning of the year is a good time to adopt some things, get rid of others, assess our direction and put plans in place for what we would like to do in the year. Sometimes, it’s not even about doing anything new, it’s just about continuing what we have been doing and doing more of it!

In other news, one of my favorite bloggers staged a return to blogsville. Hers was one of the blogs I used as a benchmark when I started mine more than three years ago but while my archives grew hers stalled from a very long hiatus. Needless to say, I was disheartened but couldn’t give up on her blog for the love of her interesting posts and really great writing, so I did what a really big fan would do and added her dormant blog to my blogroll. I was absolutely delighted when she revived it with a revving 15 posts in January alone. Welcome back Adaure Achumba, be sure to check her out here.

In the spirit of improvements, Teralyn Pilgrim is hosting a “critique my blog” blogfest on her blog as an avenue for all listed bloggers on her blog hop to get feedback on their blogs. Read more about it here. Still in the spirit of improvements, i would like to know what you think of this blog, suggestions you have for improvements and things you’d like to read more of this year.

Quick question: I considered including photos in the posts and experimented with this post, don't think I like it though, what do you think?

READY, AIM, FIRE, then RETREAT!

2011-12-13T13:24:00.000+01:00

So in keeping with the festive and reflective practices of this season, I am making this post about celebrating blessings and reflecting on lessons. Although I am still far from my writing goals, I am taking a moment to smell the roses because in the last few months i made quite a bit of progress! This month alone I had two of my articles published on Y!naija (ynaija.com/your-turn-my-own-lagos and ynaija.com/omonaikee-scouting-for-the-girls) and another was published in Imbue Magazine. YAY!

Part of making progress has meant having editors give me feedback about my work, which is great because you learn or re-learn a ton like what happened when I sent off my article to an editor. In secondary school, I once wrote an essay littered with “I” in lower case and my English teacher circled every offending letter in red ink before proceeding to give me an uncomplimentary score for not writing them in capital letters. Like my teacher, my editor showed her disapproval when I made the same mistake.

I have also learnt a lot from sending out requests for columnist opportunities to top papers and magazines, like:

1. Follow request through no matter how long it takes. Persist until you get a logical YES or NO. Most of the time people are willing to say YES than they want to say NO and if you don’t get a YES, listen for the NOT NOW and keep pushing until the time is right.
2. There are a ton of ideas in your head about what to do to move yourself closer to your heart desires- try all of them out. They are your mind telling you how to get what you want.
3. Start as soon as RIGHT now, because there will be challenges anyway. You might have to retry several times before you get it right, so the earlier you put yourself to the test the better.

You can hardly make progress without seeing areas to improve. That’s the evidence that you are not standing still. There is always a way to do things better and sometimes we only find it when we tell ourselves the truth. For instance, I have writer’s diseases that plague more frequently than I should let them. One of them is, I wait for inspiration to write and for some articles it flows like a never ending stream while for others, inspiration only teases to get your interest then denies you when it has your full attention. When this happens, work sputters to a stop and remains unfinished. But a little discipline goes a long way to help inspiration too so maybe that should be a point for my New Year resolution.

Speaking of the New Year, this year is in its twelfth month of pregnancy and the year 2012 will soon be born. This is perfect timing to retreat and review how we have spent this year, what goals we have achieved, what progress we have made, what kind of people we have become, what shortcomings we can improve on and what we can still do before this year ends. The great thing about reflecting is that it shows you where to plant your next steps. Here’s something else I will be doing and you should try it too: Write down a list of things that you can do to move yourself into the place where you want to be and think about how you will execute them in the New Year. It should be fun!
Cheers!

THE DAVID ROPO LAWALE INTERVIEW

2011-11-28T11:01:00.000+01:00

I spent a plane ride to and from Lagos, in the company of David Ropo Lawale's book - 21st century Joseph and it not only cured my aerophobia (see previous post) but it blessed me and i was thoroughly entertained. David has a lot of content and there is a blessing in the way he uses it, I hope you see that too in this interview, Enjoy!

OMONAIKEE: You write about the biblical character, Joseph and flesh out the story with vivid descriptions of his life as it would be if it was set in the 21st century. I found your Joseph to be a quick wit, a stylish dresser and a man shocked out of his sheltered life by the hateful betrayal of his brothers. Joseph was a happy-go-lucky kid who had to grow up fast because of the hard events presented in his life, do you relate with the life of Joseph?

DAVID: Yes I do relate with the life of Joseph. He was a young man that seemed to have “impossible” dreams that made him a legend. Im a pictorial person. I love to think out of the box. I love to try out the rare things. Growing up, I’d always had dreams about myself and where I was going. While I was in the banking industry, I kept nursing the dreams. The Banking Industry is a place that keeps you comfortable enough to live a dependent life on the salary and forget your dreams. I had to fight it. Since I pictorial in everything I do, I often picture everything around me having a voice. Life itself has a voice. It often tells us we cant be who we planned to be. I needed to shut it up first by making myself happy. I found out no one will really make you happy. No one will actually celebrate your dreams. No one will believe in you when you build castles in the sky and don’t take visible steps to show your doggedness. The way you’ll see Joseph described in the book has a little bit of me in it. I just love being happy and excited irrespective of how any other wants to make me feel. Life is fun, live it but don’t live too seriously. Enjoy the moments. I also’ kinda’ had an old head on a young shoulder (I grew up fast). Also, did almost everything under the sun before I woke up to life’s reality

OMONAIKEE: In your book, we hear your voice weaving messages of your own into the story. You where also in the book along with your characters, I found that style of writing to be unusual. Why was it important to you that your voice should lend something to the story?

DAVID: I didn’t just want people to read a book and dump it somewhere. I needed a book that would speak to the readers, cause them to go back to it when life’s pressure tries to raise it’s head. I also wanted to connect with the reader. Many ‘mentor’ books from well respected and notable authors entertain but don’t get to relate with you. I wanted to be in the readers living room, swimming pool section, kitchen, library, school, office with him/her. I wanted to dialogue with the various reader’s thoughts without necessarily being physically present. From the numerous feedback we get, it seems it worked. It’s exciting!

OMONAIKEE: You are also a brand consultant and your approach to pushing your book is fresh, how have you used social media and what potential does it offer today's writers and authors such as yourself?

DAVID: True, my approach was a fresh one. Like I said earlier, I like thinking out of the box. It’s a joy to see the method being used now by public figures who saw what I was doing and got in touch. Others, said they were going to use it for their work. Another thing im passionate about is branding and marketing. Social Media is a blessing to the 21st century. Years ago, many paid huge amounts for TV adverts, newspaper ads, etc. Today, things have changed. Many are bloggers, people are networking beyond their country. Social Media will get your work to nations you never taught of in seconds. You can network the world from your living room. I get calls/messages from Dubai, Malaysia, UK, Zimbabwe, South Africa e.t.c over what I do simply because of social media sites. The 21st Century Writer must understand the speed at which people can get to see his/her work via social sites. Facebook for example has over 500m users. That’s like the population of 3 major countries put together. Any wise author will ride on that platform. Yet, there are still ways of getting the necessary effects, response and productivity.

OMONAIKEE: Connect the dots for me, you have had life experience in other industries unrelated to what you currently do, what led you here David? What's your story?

DAVID: I wouldn’t really say that. I was into marketing. I was once an external marketing rep. for an organisation based in Lagos. However, my passion for empowerment was also in the picture at the time as I got some slight invitations many years ago. I got into the Banking Industry, Prudent Bank to be precise and was there as a credit and marketing officer. I understudied my bosses because I knew I wasn’t going to stay a banker all my life. The Banking Industry is a place where you can acquire a lot of knowledge if you do take it seriously. You get to write credits for schools, hotels, hospitals, contractors, politicians, etc. Hence, in those days of Prudent Bank before consolidation by Soludo, the Bank was particular about your display of knowledge in the field you are writing a credit(loan application) on. So, that takes a lot of research, questions e.t.c. There were times you’ll need to think like a doctor simply because you were writing a credit for a hospital or think like an engineer a bit because you need to defend a contractors request. After Bank consolidation, other banks I moved to didn’t really engage in that, but I was able to learn more on ROA, profitability and the likes. Bottomline, when I consult or train organizations now, I stand confidently because of the foundation received in the banking sector, research and the general school of hard knocks termed the School of Life. Today, im a Business Strategist. Also a performance trainer. My job is to help organizations grow their customer base, rebrand their mindsets for growth, make needed impact on their bottomline and re-create in them a brand customers are not tired of. Many organizations feel their age and experience qualifies them to keep being the forerunners. History, has proved them wrong, both locally and Internationally

Finally, you asked what led me hear… Well, i am very uncomfortable with mediocrity. Very shocked at acts of foolishness often displayed based on the fact that we have celebrated ignorance for too long. I feel there’s more to life than the mansions in Asokoro, Victoria Island or Beverly Hills; there’s more to life than the cars, Rolexes and private jets many want to acquire; There’s more to life than Money. There’s calmness and so much joy when you are doing what you are designed for. Many are frustrated because they are living someone else’s dreams. I'm David Ropo Lawale and I just want to live life happy, fulfilled and able to encourage people to birth their dreams even when it seems slow or financially stupid. In my own comical words, the so called stupid people helped us. Thomas Edison was stupid enough to keep trying, Gani Fawehinmi was stupid enough to go against the military when no one dared, Tafawa Balewa, Nnamdi Azikwe and Awolowo were stupid enough to push for our independence. I am stupid enough to believe in LIVING LEGENDS. I don’t believe you need to die first before the world celebrates you. Michael Angelo, Martin Luther, Shakespeare e.t.c. are legends but they were not living legends. Their legendary status seemed to spread after death. I love to celebrate Mohammed Ali, Steve Jobs e.t.c

OMONAIKEE: Tell me a bit about your christian faith, your testimony of it was very present in your book, what role does having a faith play in your life?

I discovered intimacy and not religion. We all made a religion out of this and termed it Christianity. Truth is the world needs a revolution. We need positive rebels of thought and character and not violence. We need knowledgeable corrections based on truths from the word and not just what has been practiced. Many might find it difficult to believe but God/Jesus never called us Christians. The people that didn’t understand the disciples were the ones that gave them the name. We should live free and happy in the word. Religions will keep battling themselves for supremacy. Religions are systems of the world and no religion out of all religions in the world will want to accept inferiority to the others. That’s why things go physical and violent. We weren’t given religion, we were given Relationship. In the relationship, we have religious(consistent or modus operandi) engagements like Prayer, Faith walk etc. God didn’t call us Christians, He called us Gods (Ps 82:5-6; John 10:34). He didn’t say we are Christ-Like (Christians or a replica). All religions have refused to comprehend this. Oh no!! I aint preaching..lol

With regards the testimony of my faith present in 21ST CENTURY JOSEPH…..Yes, it was. All the stories in my teachings were real life scenarios. Some were me, some others.
"What does Having a faith play in my life?"........Stories like Joseph gets me positively angry. Stories like Daniel e.t.c. They had mental pictures of themselves and went to work at it. Having read those stories, I felt, if they could make it, so can I. Having faith in the Almighty himself helped take some steps I wouldn’t want to take. I resigned from the banking industry with less than $100 to my name local and abroad. I was in debt and my rent was due. I live by one major statement…If Opportunity doesn’t knock, build a door and knock it yourself. I’d rather die trying than not trying at all. Life doesn’t reward you for your similarity, it rewards you for your difference; the majority have never made impact, those that do separated themselves from the majority.

OMONAIKEE: What should we expect from David Ropo Lawale in the near future?

DAVID: I've written 9 books. 21ST CENTURY JOSEPH was the first in the series of 21ST CENTURY BOOKS. Also expect the movie, cartoon and comic versions of each book. Expect David’s voice encouraging you to stand up for the “stupidity” of your dream and desire. Expect strategies that would build and expand what you do. I playfully used to say when I was much younger, you may not like my face when you see me on TV, but you’ll still hear the voice on radio. You may switch off the radio but, my brand of toothpaste will probably be in your house, if you refuse to use that too, my brand of soap, kitchen seasoning, book, etc will be existing in your house. Hey, im not greedy, i'm only exercising my senses. Watch me!!!

Great stuff right? Read the book! When David asked me to write a review, i sent him my two cents bellow:

"I give and i take- I enjoy taking words and giving them back by unraveling meaning, enjoying prose and weaving thought into words again. David's book gave me a lot to unravel and for my labor I was rewarded with a sense of God working out all things for my good. I read and I write- At first I read this book like a writer would, paying attention to David's expressions and the flow of the plot then somewhere in the chapters I became a reader and got drawn into the story by David's ability to paint vivid pictures and his gift to lift the curtain to reveal the humanity of these biblical characters whose stories are set in times far from the ones we live and are tried in. With humor and an animated imagination, David reset the clock and let's us see Joseph in a life we can really relate to. I am blessed and I bless- I heard some things I needed to hear in David's book and I recommend it for anyone who wants to keep company with a mind that has mined insight from the word of God' - Omonike Odi, CEO, Omonaikee

AJEBO IN LAGOS!

2011-11-24T10:51:00.000+01:00

The first time I saw a wrap of “gala”, the sausage snack, was in Lagos and that was two decades ago. Since then Lagos has never ceased to provide firsts for me and I didn’t think my last trip would be any different. On a Monday night, I found myself seating in the crowded Murtala Mohammed airport for two hours, waiting to board a flight enroute Lagos from the serene Federal Capital Territory.

My flight had been shifted once already hence the two hour wait. I dreaded the possibility of having it rescheduled to the next morning more than it worried me to seat in the airport waiting and I minded that even less than the idea of flying at night and arriving in Lagos late.

It wasn’t just my fear of running into the gentlemen of the night that irked me; it was flying in the dark and not being able to see anything. Somewhere in my head I reasoned that if the worst happened daylight would provide a better chance of salvation and so the black night held no comfort for me. Consolation was only to be found in the reassuring laugh of Haruna, my long time friend. He teased me out of my anxiety and told me to consider the experience an opportunity to do something new. This was going to be another first.

My flight was announced by a rickety voice coated with an accent I couldn’t decide on.

”Is she a Nigerian speaking like a Lebanese or a Lebanese trying to sound Nigerian?” I wondered, but not for long.

On board, I concentrated on shutting out the piercing sound of the airplane slicing through the air during take-off. Reading on trips was an old habit of mine, it helped to kill time and in this instance it would distract me from my aerophobia so I turned on my reading light and settled into a book.

Overtime i have learned to expect certain things from Lagos; like bumping into a Nollywood star, seeing the ocean, being rudely addressed by a bus conductor and being stuck in 3rd mainland bridge traffic. What I didn’t foresee however, was to be ousted out of my role as observer and given a part in the movie- Lagos.

The pilot announced we were approaching our destination and I peered out of the square glass beside me to see for myself. What I saw immediately made me part ways with my reservations about flying at night. Beneath me was a cosmos of bright lights set in the blackness. The lights sparkled like stars right under my feet and I looked down at them in child -like awe. Then sooner than I was ready, the lights began to disappear one after the other until we plunged into the blackness and landed on earth. As the plane taxied to a stop I spied the moon and felt a tinge of jealously. The fun part of flying was seeing the view from up there and after seeing heaven on earth i didn’t think I would be afraid of flying after that. We’ll wait and see.

If my experience in the air was surreal, the one on the road the next morning was anything but. I set out of my Isolo home, armed with the address of the venue for the event I would be attending. It was Four Points by Sheraton on the island. I had been told to walk to a nearby junction and find a cab and once I found one, I was to negotiate N1500 for the cab fee. That’s what I was told.

I dressed carefully that morning in a smart skirt suit supported on black, suede, Runway Next shoes with heels from here to there. Inspite of the 6inches, I managed to trek out of the pot holed roads of Ire Akari estate to the supposed “nearby” junction. I scanned the area to the left and the right but there was no cab in sight.

I heard my Auntie call them “Marwa’s” but they were called “keke NAPEP” in Abuja and now I could see tons of them going up and down the narrow road. One stopped to let a uniformed child unto the street and I quickly approached to ask the driver where I could find a cab. The driver began a rapid explanation complete with gesticulations and I nodded to encourage sense out of him. The man seating behind him listened for a minute then suggested i join them since they were headed toward the street the driver had mentioned. I lifted the weight from my heels thankful to support my legs on the metal floor of the tricycle.

As I held a rod by the window for support, I wondered if I should be thankful for the intervention or wary of help from these total strangers. I instinctively pressed my handbag close to my body and resolved to be vigilant. Soon enough we arrived at a place on another street where I could see two cars with the sign “hire” set on their tops. I found my feet on the tarred road before asking the Marwa driver what I owed him. He smiled an old man smile and said “No worry”. I was surprised but pleased and took it as a sign of good luck. After thanking the old man, i proceeded to the parked cars.

“VI” I instructed in my strongest no nonsense voice.

“3,500 ” A voice returned. A man in a native tunic and trouser inched towards me and i could see he was looking me over. I hesitated. That was too much for a cab and it wouldn’t do to go back home with a sad tale of how I parted ways with N3500 for a cab ride. My cousins would laugh hard and put it down to my being a JJC . Only a Johnny Just Come, JJC for short, wouldn’t know better.

I shrugged off my cool and barked back, “N1500”

The man adamantly refused and I walked on feigning annoyance like I would have done in Abuja. It always worked without fail. The driver would pretend to refuse only to call back the passenger who showed nonchalance. I took a few steps away but didn’t hear a thing so i turned around in time to see that the man had retaken his seat and was now chewing hard on his chewing stick. He wasn’t budging. So much for luck, I thought.

Nothing else moved in my direction for a while.

Someone had been observing me from the side of the road. He was a security guard and presently he walked over and asked me if I was going to VI. I once again pressed my bag to my sides and hardened my face.

“Yes”, I answered in a voice I hoped sounded confident.

“Why don’t you take a bike to Cele bus stop for N100 then from there enter bus to CMS then when you get there you go get taxi easily to VI”.

I looked at the man for a second, then at the time on my wrist watch. The watch decided for me. While the idea of a bus did not appeal, I reasoned that if I could get to the next stop, I would be further ahead than where I was and would find a more agreeable cab driver. The security man hailed a bike that had just stopped a few feet away. He addressed the man as “Molla”, and I felt a little more comfortable that the “okada” driver was Hausa. I spoke to him briefly in his language and he assured me I would find a cab at Cele bus stop so I pulled my skirt above my knee and attempted to raise a leg. That’s when I heard a tearing sound. The bike man understood and made for lower ground while I recovered from the thought that my suit had just be ruined. It was the lining that had given way thankfully so I repeated the move and hoisted myself successfully onto the bike.

When I raised my head to see there was a dirty helmet in my view,

“Take”

The Hausa man was pushing the helmet into my hand. I shook my head in disbelief and put the thing over my head with a deep sense of regret. I calculated the price of the hair extension on my head before peacefully coming to the realisation that at least, it was protecting my head from the dirty helmet.

Cele bus stop was many streets later and as soon as I got down from the okada i started asking around for cabs. Twice I was directed to cross over to someplace to ask and i would go across a street, find someone who would tell me where else to go only to return to the first point.

By now a lot of time had passed since I left home. I was an unwilling member of a crowd. People moved around while others waited for buses but when one pulled up only one or two made an attempt to get on it. Thugs moved through the crowd of regular looking people who wore trousers or skirts paired with shirts or native styled clothes. None of them looked like me and I could see I was out of place in a black suit, briefcase, handbag and high- heeled shoes. My hair was getting into my eyes and my false nails where too blunt to pick them all out. I was a contrast to the dirty streets and aggressive people around me. I became worried for my safety and constantly put my hand in my bag at intervals, feeling for my smart phone.

“All the load wey you dey carry go fall you o!”

The warning was directed at me, and I turned around to see the owner of the cracked voice. A short man with dirty dread locks and dirtier clothes was coming toward me. I quickly remembered my survival instincts and barked back at him in pidgin English,

“Na you e go fall, Ode”

I grimaced at the sound of my own voice. Where I got that from, I wondered. A second thought followed the first, as I pictured what would happen if the man heard the insult and turned back on me.

Thirty minutes slowly passed me by in Cele bus stop. At this point, the thought of going back home crossed my mind but again I didn’t know how I would explain myself when I met up with my colleagues who were waiting for me at the event. The last person I queried for suggestions was a LASMA guy, they handle traffic in Lagos. He had pointed me in one direction where I was yet unsuccessful.

“Why don’t you take a bus to CMS if you are going to VI?”

How did they know where I was going? I assessed this new entrant who was offering me bus stop consultation services to see if I was looking at a potential heckler. Had he observed my aimless walking and decided I was a good target?

It occurred to me that I had not heard any conductor call for CMS so I questioned him about that.

“They are calling Orinle. Go to Orinle and from there to CMS”.

The bus was dirty, old and rickety and I was given the seat next to the conductor. I came to respect the man after observing his fearlessness when the bus veered very close to other buses. He never flinched!

I had decided that as long as I was moving closer to VI, I was better off than if I kept waiting at Cele. When I boarded the bus, I noticed that the man who had advised me to go to Orinle, followed me into it, by now my hand hurt from clutching my bag.

We travelled for thirty minutes without incident. I had accepted my fate and now I stepped outside the situation to observe the other players. When we went past one road we happened upon a group of policemen beating up a driver through the window of his bus. The poor driver had one hand in a fist to jab at the faces of the police while the other hand held unto the steering wheel. An old woman behind me wailed in pity as she cursed the police men for heckling the driver for his daily bread. They should beg him for the money not beat it out of him she said in Yoruba. Others hissed their disgust. I continued to stare outside, observing the roads that where being constructed and adjusting my eyes for landmarks I hoped I would recognise.

My mind slowly drifted to the horrid stories I had heard of Lagos. One friend had been robbed in a bus while another related the story of a robbery that occurred in broad day light. The armed thieves robbed from car to car in the congested traffic. From my ponderings, I heard the engine sputter and then stop. This woke me out of my thoughts.

The driver said “Ekpo ni” meaning it is fuel, and a lady from the far back of the bus shouted at him to let us out so we could get another bus to travel in. I was lost for words now and didn’t know who or what to blame for my predicament. Suddenly, i wished I was far away from this situation, as far away as Abuja. I started to pity my legs at the thought of another possible trek. But just as dramatically as the engine died, it regained consciousness and the car came alive. Our journey progressed slowly through traffic and fifteen minutes later the bus turned off the road. On cue, i asked someone where we were.

“This is CMS”, he answered.

I hurried to my feet and with more directions found a garage where a jolly old man agreed to take me to “Four pointi” for a thousand naira. Relieved to be in his cab, i took each tired feet out of my now dusty shoes. As we drove past, I enjoyed the view of the ships docked on the ocean then a thought occurred to me and I snatched out my make -up case to assess the damage to hair and makeup. We made more progress through light traffic while I tended to my appearance. Finally, the cab pulled into the prestigious hotel. I looked at my watch and shook my head in disbelief. It was 10:30am! It had taken three hours to get here.

I joined my colleagues who had been worried and for the first time all morning I felt safe. They were surprised at my story and got a good laugh from it. I had ridden an okada, hung around bus stops, hopped on buses and seen the life of a Lagosian who lives on the mainland and has to catch several buses to work on the island. I told myself I would not do it again but for what it was worth, I had just had another first in Lagos!

Crase de sleep, mumu go wake am!

2011-11-03T11:15:00.000+01:00

5 EXCUSES FOR NOT UPDATING MY blog

Hmmm, I came here to dust the cobwebs and in response to all the chastisement I have been getting. Thank you loved ones for the koboko words not unlike the ones I have used to flagellate myself. So, I am putting the unfortunate reason why I have left y’all hangin to full use as my topic for this post. I remember the words of fellow writer and professional bb broadcaster whom I genuinely admire for his deep content which he so generously shares every morning. He said “I wont take any excuses, I make time everyday to write no matter how silly it is” so you see, whatever crase you witness in the course of this rambling has been justified under the sacrosanct sanctity of his righteous indignation!And i reserve the right to remain mute, not just silent at the obvious combabulating misuse of words littering this rendition! And if you wondered the difference, being silent is keeping your lips sealed but being mute is looking like a mumu while at it! And a word for “Haruna”-“my new found love for tweeter, is not a crutch!”. Yep I am on twitter every morning, see what I have been up to for yourself - @omonaikee.

Excuse no 1: I don’t have inspiration.

Hmmmm, objectively speaking, inspiration is everywhere na. It’s on the head of the groundnut seller, it’s enshrouded in the thoughts of every conversation, it’s on the mismatched attire of the man who chooses to wake up and wear a lab coat or a pair of pyjamas to the market, it’s on the Abuja babes outfit reeking of all the colors in the rainbow in the name of color blocking and the urban professional’s shiny suit complete with an aloof expression and arrogant swag. Sooo please find something else to use Nike.

Excuse number 2: Baa ni da locaci.

That means, “I dont have time in Hausa”. Mcheew… who does? We all have 24 hours and that has been the ration since you stepped out of the uterus!

Excuse number 3: No internet service!

Chai! Biko, which century are you na? And who told you everything is often perfect for the millions of professional writers, professional bloggers and professional me-sef-wan-write-my-owns out there? Mcheeeeeeeewu !

Excuse number 4: I’ll do it later?

When exactly? When the opportunity makes itself available or when you create time and call it opportunity? Ermmmmmmmmmm, it’s called procrastination and no one ever did anything worth doing by being friends with that darn thing! So set a fixed time every day or week to get down to it, ko?

Excuse number 5: I dont feel like it just yet.

SWAT! Ma begi fu en! I will slap yah face right now o! Who told you, you have to feel like anything? Are you your feelings? Abi, whish kain pepperless oyibo talk be dis? You don’t need Dr Phil to tell you that its not about how you feel! If we all followed our feelings Hitler would be having lunch with Ghadafi and plotting how to use mobile phones to wipe out the world with Steve jobs! Now what was the point again? STOP FEELING!

Ok, this schizophrenic rattling is all I can handle right now or else…… that thing that happened in 1976 will happen!

Dalu o! This was fun!

WHEN WHAT GOES AROUND, COMES AROUND!

2011-10-24T15:29:00.000+01:00

It's usually me doing the interviews, but i got a taste of my own medicine when cognito studios (www.cognitostudios.blogspot.com)wanted to feature me in their "creative people" series. I was surprised by my own reaction as the days leading up to the photoshoot for the interview approached. I was a tad shy, a little giddy with excitement and very, very nervous! But when the lights came on and it was time for action, viola! Yours truly came through shinning. Morale of the story? Just do it!I hope you enjoy reading the interview as much as i enjoyed giving it.

COGNITO: So i want you to give a little insight into Omonaikee, who is she? What does she do?

OMONAIKEE: My name is Omonike Odi, i am behind the brand “Omonaikee”. Omonaikee is a multimedia platform that provides media content on print, audio, video, radio, live, online and social media. All messages are prepared to motivate, inform and empower a target demographic.

COGNITO: Along the road to where you are today, what were some of the significant events that helped shape you?

OMONAIKEE: I grew up hearing about talents in church and about how God gives each person an ability and He will hold us accountable for how we have used these gifts. That stayed with me. What it did for me at an early age is that it helped me realise what unique abilities i had and as i grew older i became concious about how to develop and deploy them in every phase of my life. There was also a conciousness to use them positively and use them to share the benefits of my relationship with God with other people. That was significant in shaping the way i use my abilities today.

COGNITO: Who is Nike in the next 5 or 10 years?

OMONAIKEE: In the next 5 years, Omonaikee is a global brandname and in the next 10, it is a global company headquartered in Nigeria and Nike is it’s CEO. It’s my BHAG; my Big Hairy Audacious Goal.

COGNITO: What message would you give a young lady who feels useless, bored but has dreams and aspirations, and doesn’t know how to go about making them a reality? She feels helpless to make her life meaningful?

OMONAIKEE: This is the best question you have asked me so far because i am passionate about young people and women and i am all for people going after a life that accomplishes their potential. There are usually 3 reasons why people dont make their dreams a reality.

The first is the issue of time. For people who are tied down by the demands of a job, a marriage or kids; they should celebrate what they have achieved so far be it a mortgage, work experience, precious kids or life experience. Next, they should ask themselves if they are waiting for time to make itself available to them to pursue their other dreams and realise that it will not come. Very often we have to negotiate with the demands on our time in order to create time for what’s important to us, so start negotiating with a full night’s sleep, a full time job, or a full time nanny.

The second reason is the lack of money. I find that if we will only do all that is within our power both financially and otherwise, we will get farther ahead than where we are right now. One question i have had to ask myself is : “Nike, have you done everything you can?”. Not having money shows you what you do have. It also shows you what your spending priorities are and where to put money when it comes.

The third reason people very often don’t achieve the life they want is they haven’t discovered themsleves. Self discovery is at the beginning of every accomplishment. Each person needs to look closely at themselves and find what is special or different about them. They need to look at their environment and background and find what opportunities it presents to them. They need to identify their interests and see what they can do to explore it. Then they need to think hard about what they want to be based on these resources God has put in and around them. Next, they need to take advantage of the external opportunities to develop or utilise their innate abilities, then use the results of that to build the life they want and become what they want.

COGNITO: Who inspires you today and why? One or two people

OMONAIKEE: I am inspired by a lot of people for different things. For instance, i am inspired by my friend Cobahms Asuquo because he has a pure heart and that quality magnifies everything he does with his heart, into an impact. I am inspired by my mentor, Fela Durotoye because he has a lot of compassion and wants to help people. I am inspired by several others because they are sincere like Pastor Sarah Omakwu or are strong characters like Funmi Iyanda or are selfless like my mum.

But generally, all the people who inspire me have one thing in common and that is personal achievement. I am inspired by personal achievement especially when it is achieved against daunting odds or disadvantage. For example, i am inspired by the resilience shown by Steve Jobs in the last 7 years of his life when he lived with pancreatic cancer. In those years he still pursued his dreams even till the end. It taught me that whether life is long or short, a lifetime is enough to be you. It is enough to become who God wants you to be.

COGNITO: What is your favorite quote? Explain how it inspires you?

OMONAIKEE: I like several quotes because i love the written word and i both consume and create it, some of it is on my blog at www.omonaikee.blogspot.com. But the ones that go beyond inspiring me to shaping me are the words of the bible. My favorite verse is Psalm 32:8 and i quote the New International Version “The Lord says, “I will guide you along the best pathway for your life, i will advise you and watch over you””. It inspires me because it shows me that every season of my life good or bad is a path but God is divinely leading me through the best combination of paths to get to where he has lovingly assigned for me. Those words are beautiful.

Another one is in Ephesians 2 :10, paraphrased, it says that we are all the work of God’s hands and that we are recreated into a life lived with Jesus as it’s owner so that we can do those good works which God planned beforehand for us and take those paths which God prepared ahead of time that we should walk in and live the good life which God prearranged and made ready for us to live. These words have a lot of creative power.

QUOTE
“Whether life is long or short, a lifetime is enough to be you. It is enough to become who God wants you to be.”- Omonike Odi (CEO, Omonaikee)

Original interview published on: http://cognitostudios.blogspot.com/2011/10/creative-people-profile-7-omonike.html

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THE SteveHARRIS INTERVIEW

2011-09-28T10:42:00.000+01:00

Hey everyone, i need to introduce you to someone who i think is absolutely inspiring, he has a good heart and a right spirit. His atitude toward working under someone and his personal story of overcoming life’s challenges show that having a functional relationship with God can bring you into the life you want. He will be a good influence on you,that i promise. He has gone from being a college drop out and to a corporate sell out... meet SteveHARRIS!

Omonaikee: I read somewhere where you said you didn’t have a clue about what you wanted to do till you were 27, and now some years later you’re an accomplished speaker, consultant, author, husband, father, radio host, Naija Diamond,UN/YFP Young Ambassador For Peace, CEO e.t.c. So from that point what was the defining moment that set you on the path of being a corporate sell-out?

SteveHARRIS: Thanks Nikita, I never had a clue that I’d be privileged to do what I do today or have the sort of impact on the lives of people that I’m blessed to have. I guess once I got kicked out of school, I determined to prove to myself that I wasn’t the dropout my Alma Mater made me out to be. I guess you could say the Dropout part of me motivates the “sellout” part of me. I’m also driven by my personal mantra “it’s not what you don’t have that limits you, but what you have and don’t know how to use”!

Omonaikee: You wouldn’t describe yourself as the typical college dropout we think of - the one who dropped out because they couldn’t afford tuition or whose parents weren’t supportive, or was that you?

SteveHARRIS: Nah, that wasn’t me. I’m humbled that my parents did their best to provide for us. I guess I wasn’t cut out for my course of study (Industrial Mathematics). But don’t forget that I dropped out of school twice (from UniBen and Madonna University!) Go get the book for details! But I would say that I had something in common with most people who may experiencing a “dropout experience” (in school, career, finances etc), and that’s low self-esteem.

Omonaikee: What type of a college dropout were you? What was happening in your life at that time that led you to that place?

SteveHARRIS: Well, I’ve always considered myself as a pretty smart guy, but I guess it was just a case of putting a square peg in a round hole, and then add to that, victimization from lecturers, then you have a recipe for disaster! Lol!

Harris identifies Fela Durotoye as a key contributor in his process. He says every experience he had with Fela was such that he would treasure forever, he talks about his mentor and former employer here...

Omonaikee: In John Maxwell’s book, every one communicates but few connect, his writer Charlie Wetzel writes a chapter about his experiences with John, in your book you devote an entire chapter to your experiences with Fela Durotoye, help us understand why it was important for you to write that chapter.

SteveHARRIS: For me, it was imperative that I write about FD, as God used him as a signpost, if you will; to point me in the direction of my purpose. He took a chance on me, built up my confidence and inspired me to believe in myself. I consider him to be a mentor, teacher and father figure.

Omonaikee: You’ve had a very close relationship with Fela, one which you would refer to your work as “service” and working for him as “serving”, why did you see what we would call a work relationship that way or in those terms?

SteveHARRIS: Well, as you know, FD and I have a multi-faceted relationship. Too many young people today take liberties with their mentors by being “familiar” where they lose access to the mentor’s grace. Even Elisha was described in Scripture as the one who “poured water on the hands of Elijah” and Joshua was described as the “servant of Moses”. Now, I’m not saying that you should act as a servant, all I’m saying is true and faithful service is first, a matter of the heart.

Omonaikee: Fela Durotoye worked with Folusho Philips at Philips consulting them moved on to set up Visible Impact consulting with his blessing, you’ve also worked with Fela Durotoye and have gone on to set up EdgeEcution, what is your perspective on working for other people, learning the business and leaving well?

SteveHARRIS: I think it’s very important. Though I need to clarify that I had absolutely no intention of starting my own business while working with Visible Impact. As far as I knew, my assignment was to build the organisation and serve FD, and in doing that faithfully, my dreams would naturally come true. I was super happy being there and it could have only taken a divine summons from God to pry me away from FD and the Visible Impact family. But having said that, I believe that motive is important. Most people want to come and “learn” from you, but in reality, they want to take from you and not to give to you. There’s only so much you can get that way. Sure you can get the “how to”, but you’ll never get the spirit behind it and that’s actually what creates everything else. I believe that too many young people are in a hurry to “hammer” if I may use the term. I see so many of them say to me, “I’m the CEO of This, That and The Other” and unfortunately, they seem to be going nowhere fast. Now, there’s nothing wrong with being entrepreneurial, the challenge is “have you built a track record?”, “to whom have you submitted yourself to?”, “where are your mentors”. It’s sad to know that most young people don’t want to pay the price of sacrifice. You can’t be celebrated without sacrifice.

Harris also has a lot to say about the role God has played in his life...

Omonaikee: You started and completed this book in three months, was this biography painful to write, what emotions played out as you wrote from chapter to chapter?

SteveHARRIS: I must admit, it was a bit of a tear jerker for me, since I had to unearth previously repressed memories and feelings. But you know what? Writing proved pretty therapeutic for me (had to be my own Dr. Phil). But writing made me appreciate all what God has done for me when I look back over the last 6 years, I can see the hand of the Lord, leading and guiding me when I thought all hope was lost.

Omonaikee: Your book reveals your journey of self discovery that was kick started by academic failure, now you’ve come full circle from college drop out to corporate sell out, from dropping out of University to giving talks at the same school, from your peers getting ahead to turning to you for business cutting edge, what has that process from there to here changed about your view of God?

SteveHARRIS: All I can say is “God has a sense of humour”. He uses the foolish things of the world to confound the wise” or more verbosely put, “He incorporates the mundane to discombobulate the cerebral”. I’m deeply thankful that He’s turned my “mess” into my “message”. Don’t ask God for a testimony if you’re not ready to face the “test”! God is faithful. I lost hope several times, backslid plenty, took up vices, but He never let me go. I owe Him everything!

Omonaikee: Most college graduates aren’t corporate sellouts, so obviously it’s not the degree, can you share what you think IT is?

SteveHARRIS: For me, it’s just pure grace from God. But coupled with that, I guess I’ve discovered my assignment and I intend to be the best at it as I can.

Harris has had two lives, in one of them he went through a dark time where he didn’t see the possibility of the today he has now, if i ask him what he would say to someone who feels that way about their future today and how they can turn things around, i can almost hear him say:

“IT’S NOT WHAT YOU DONT HAVE THAT LIMITS YOU, ITS WHAT YOU HAVE BUT DONT KNOW HOW TO USE . We should be more introspective and stop complaining about what we don’t have, and start focusing on what we do have, no matter how small we perceive it to be”- SteveHARRIS

My best life

2011-09-03T21:18:00.000+01:00

For a while now, i have not had the time nor the readiness to indulge inspiration so when i was finally able to seat down and let it take over, i ended up writing a 1,147 worded article and i was elated! I’ve read it more than twenty times and it’s almost perfect. There’s always something to edit at every read. Someone said the editing is the most important part of writing. It shows professionalism when you can convey a lot of meaning in simple ways and get a point across in fewer words. When i write i aim to make a connection; that alone inspires my intellect to find expressions that leave the reader and writer herself in admiration.

Well, i think i've got my mojo back and no writer’s block fashioned against me shall prosper. Lol! After i was done editing, i called my editor friend and mailed it to him with excitement. Only days ago, i had payed him a visit at his office to talk about me. He is kind of a mentor so i decided to name him Master Shifu. He had a midget for me and we talked over a few of my prospective stories. “Dejavu” he said, “Nike we’ve talked about this before, Just do it!” . Yes like my footware namesake i was just to do it. So do it i did. I made two phone calls for interviews and blogged. Then i surfed new blogs and bingo- i found it! Something someone wrote made me think gravely hard and two hours latter i had a two paged article. I called it “the writers curse”, it’s my current source of pride and joy.

“Have you read it” i asked repeatedly after my yahoo said mail delivered. One thing i’ve learnt to live with is the reality that not all my friends are happy to be my beta readers. They don’t want to hurt my feelings but they just find proof reading a long script of text daunting. But Shifu would be glad to. “Have you read it?” i asked again. I think he got exasperated at some point.

When i write something i think is genius, i can't wait to share it with someone and hopefully talk about it too. Shifu was my prey of choice and i was on his neck till he gave me a tired “but i said i will read it na" and a placatory "i have skimmed through"

“Sowee” i said with a rose cheeked smiley for animated effect.

“Your eagerness is endearing. Don’t sweat it”. Now i was beaming. I hope it gets published soon.

So why hadn’t i done this before? Work. Living. Too tired or too much going on to chase fleeting inspiration. But when i do get to do stuff like this, i feel like i’m doing the job i was made for; the one i am working other jobs to have full time someday. It’s times like this i feel like i’m living my best life.

Ooowe Emmmmm Geee!

2011-08-27T16:36:00.000+01:00

Soooooo long time no write..... and seriously i miss writing and blogging and doing me sooo much that i had to make the decision to ignore certain commitments this weekend just to get some me-things done! But let’s not make a big deal of it, right? I left and now I’m back so here’s to hoping you love me like i never left!

Been blog surfing during my hiatus though and certainly enjoyed checking out some blogs. One fashionista, friend and blogger gave me a sunshine award- YAY! Have always wanted some kind of blog award and would have grovelled, begged and bribed someone to give me one if she hadn’t, lol!), so thank you to Uduak of finally me for passing along the sunshine award! YAY!

I learnt a lot about blogging while i was away. I learnt from bloggers like The Third World Profasional, For Style Sake and Finally Me that blogging can be a fun way to chronicle the sunlit glow of the life of a young, fashionable, adventurous unmarried girl! I do admire these girls.

I totally love For Style sake blog for the sentimental plot which like salt removes the putrid tasteless show- offiness of personal fashion blogs. For Salewa and Segi, two sisters who started their blog to preserve their sisterly bond in a common love for fashion, blogging obviously isn’t just for style sake. I also love Finally me for the free- spirit and sweet heart behind all her posts. Third world profashional is something else. I will read her journal of adventures served with a mix of slangs that switch between expressions from Ibo land, Lasgidi (Lagos), QC (Queens College), Aberdeen (Abz like she calls it) or Londres (French for London)! I read somewhere about blogging being a helpful tool to expose the world to the culture of a people and her blog does good evangelism for the Nigerian penchant to expressively draw you into the world of their experiences with a use of language that explores sounds, tones, inflections and even other languages just to convey more than words to you. Nigerians are very entertaining in that sense.

I learnt from Myne whiteman writes and My Feisty Pen that it’s ok to approach your blog from a professional angle and display your work for connoisseurs, collectors and art- lovers to admire. That it’s ok to use it to validate your talent and build your portfolio, your audience and popularity. Of course i love my feisty pen for her sheer writing talent (i will read your novel, personal interview or blog girl, just keep it up) but Myne Whitman takes it further by being an online mentor to other blogger/published – writer hopefuls and if there was a professional blogger, she gets close; she responds to every comment, checks out the commenter’s blog and even remembers ancestor blogs i never met or heard about!

From Sisi Yemie i learnt that reading pidgin can be as much fun as hearing a Nigerian comedian crack jokes in pidgin. That wafi “crase” can come across in written words without you having to see a dramatic expression or hear a voice pitch back and forth in the same sentence like a hijacked baseball.

I love When I Move Back To Naija mostly because she is a dear friend. From her blog i learnt its ok to pop in and out of blogville because the real living is worth so much more than a few gratifying comments.

I also love Corner Shop with Adiya because she plays by the book leaving comments and all and since one good turn deserves another i started leaving comments on hers as well. Though she’s moved, the concept of her blog is sooo original. Publishing small business is something you’d see on TV formats but she is totally original doing it blogging too.

Finally my best blogs of all time are from two girls who have taken blogging to the nth level. I used to follow Bella naija’s blog from 2007 and i easily converted to a daily visitor when she turned her blog into an online fashion/entertainment website. I also used to follow Favoured girl’s blog from way back, in fact my favourite place to go used to be A Girl’s Journey Down The Aisle. I loved it because it was selling the brand of influence called good.

So, many thanks to all this bloggers for entertaining, edifying, sharing, inspiring, adding sunshine to a boring and demanding work week, cracking me up, making me smile, adding to my lexicon of street lingo and conundrum of social culture e.t.c... you get the gist! More than passing you a sunshine award, i thought I’d let you know how you make the sun shine. Abi?

So it was my birthday while i was away, i turned 27 and i seriously don’t feel as old. Inside i feel ten years younger but it only takes me a minute with a 17 year old to feel my age! More seriously turning 27 increased my restlessness about the race between time and the fulfilment of my dreams where the passage of time seems to be winning. I have made up my mind that the next three years racing to the big three-0 will be nothing like my last three. I feel more settled, i have matured as much as i probably need to and i am as prepared as I’ll ever be so the appointed time is now!

I intend to do something with my potential and turn my reality from “i want to do” to “i do” and this blog will be a platform for you to follow up on what i am doing in each of my target areas and also keep me accountable about getting omonaikee more out there than it currently is (by the way, omonaikee isn’t just the name of this blog; it’s the name of my media company and the essence of my brand). So get ready to see content in interviews, music, radio, television, and project and published!

From me? Expect more. So much more.

PRINCESS DIARIES- Part 1

2011-05-30T00:54:00.000+01:00

It is far from reality to believe that the wedding gown of a bride’s dreams does not exist until she is ready to walk down the aisle. The Cinderella truth is that way before that magical moment when she is propositioned and a white diamond set in silver is pressed to a place of rest on her dainty finger, a staff of doves, mice and fairies have been working on her entire bridal trousseau!

And if you are a fantast like me, then your wedding fantasies began long, long ago in a faraway kingdom animated by Disney. First there was Cinderella and then Jasmine and Ariel, and all the other Disney princesses that came after,but the inception of the idea of a wedding dress was implanted in my mind by the character “Lisa Dowell” in the movie “Coming to America”. Back then, i thought Lisa’s wedding dress was very ideal but now when i think about it, i can almost hear Joan Rivers of Fashion Police, in her raspy voice and a snicker describe it as a monstrous, lace contraption made from pink bedspreads in the era 20BG (Before Gaga).

Next to Lisa's dress,was Giselle's- hers too fairy tale to be true. It was in the movie “Enchanted” and i was enchanted by both the cartoon and live versions of the wedding dress except it worried me that the dress was not only aspiring to show- stopper status but was intended to be a bulky nuisance as well.

And now, several fairy tales later, i am stuck with a vision of walking down the aisle in 20 pounds of tulle, rhinestones, beading and ruffles and one innocent man is going to part with a pretty penny to buy a wedding dress which has progressively evolved in my mind since being six years old!

So the next time you ask a girl what she wants to look like on her wedding day, you’ll understand when she replies; "just like a princess”, you’ll understand why she is taking forever to find a dress and why she is willing to break the bank to do so.

Searching for that wedding dress with the magical essence to imbue it’s wearer with royalty and turn her into a princess is another matter entirely. The quest for this “perfect dress” very often turns the calmest, even –tempered girl into Bridezilla. Most brides go through a plethora of white garments before finding “the one”! The rigor is almost as difficult as hitching the man itself.

Maybe it’s the thought that all eyes will be on the bride or maybe it’s about that moment when the groom sees her approaching from the opposite side of the aisle in all her bridal beauty or maybe it’s about looking her most beautiful on that one day. I don’t know for sure, but for brides, the pressure is on to wear something wowing.

Undoubtedly, when it comes to feeling like a bride, it’s all about the dress. And whether a girl decides to be the Princess bride, the Cinderella bride, the Diva bride, the Goddess bride or the Innocently sexy bride, today’s bride will have all the experience and guidance of the Princesses before her handed down one Disney movie at a time.

ALWAYS SISTERS, ALWAYS FRIENDS

2011-05-16T10:33:00.000+01:00

Girls have a special ability to form strong bonds with each other. From childhood when they have Best Friends Forever (BFFs) to their teens when they want to dress alike, girls are just wired to bond. These emotional ties are created by the free giving of self to self and sometimes the resulting sisterhoods can endure beyond the instances of the initial attraction, transcending childhood and womanhood into progeny. Then friendship has become a legacy.

But sometimes Best Friends Forever can become Worst Friends Ever. If by a cruel twist of fate they have a crush on the same boy in their teens or by the evil scheming of a horrid Grinch they turn against each other in adulthood, BFFs do break their girly oaths to be friends forever.

The reasons vary and often are unspoken but if we strain our ears we would hear little girls in grown up bodies, wordlessly saying to each other , “ I am breaking up with you, my best friend because...

...I am now a married woman”.

This is the most common reason one BFF about to tie the knot, will break up with the other. Somewhere in between the “Here comes the bride” and the placing of the sacred bands of gold on the honorary ring finger, your BFF will be hit, no knocked over by the realisation that her unmarried friends would be a bad influence on her married life. They would only make her lust for her late- night partying ways, her infrequent cooking and junk –eating habits and give her all this bad advice. At the very moment she contracts this paranoia, you may well be tip toeing around her wedding white being the perfect maid of honour but she has your evil plans all figured out.... so out you go!

And then there’s the “i earn a fatter pay check now” break up line.

Your childhood friend has landed a job with a fat salary and she’s making every effort to flaunt it in your face. She has upgraded herself into the “IT” girl with all the latest gadgets, designer bags, designer clothes, designer jewellery, designer vacations, designer hair, designer accent, and etcetera. Like the typical victim of new money, she’s too busy getting caught up in the material world to be human enough to relate if you’re broke or can’t pay the air fare for another friend’s wedding or can’t catch up with her commentaries on the latest gadget!

There’s also the irritating “I am more into my man and less into you” line.

This one is so cliché. Your BFF has found herself a new accessory. He has a baritone, a wall for a chest and makes her feel more woman than little girl! How can you compete with that? And it gets worse! Lover boy doesn’t get you or like you. Now BFF is beginning to sound like him and though she used to think you were hilariously funny, lately she stopped laughing at your jokes and even said once that you talk too much. Also, she has told him about the way you both used to make fun of him in the “toasting” days, murdering any chance of him getting to like you anyway!

And there’s the “I’ll never forgive you for doing it first” break up line.

This one happens to some sister who used to see her BFF as the baby, the junior or the late bloomer and suddenly has to face the horror of watching her friend take the first steps into womanhood ahead of her. The one who considers herself better, takes a blow to her ego and feels her superiority is put in question when her younger or less experienced friend takes the rite of passage into engagement, marriage, or employment before her.

Oooh and there’s the “i have moved on” line.

Erhm, this one happens when one girl feels all that frolicking and Best –Friends- For- Life stuff was childish. She’s a grown woman now and to settle any doubts you might have of her maturity, she rids herself of you- the childish, girlish friend of her childhood. She feels she’s outgrown you and like an unmatching colour with her outfit, the concept of BFFs don’t fit into her world.

Now this one really gets my blood boiling but it’s called the “when it’s your turn you’ll understand “line .

Happens when one friend gets to experience something you both have been curious about like getting married, sex or child birth. You’ll know it’s happening when your BFF, who is every bit your pair in an obnoxiously condescending way says something like “what has happened for me will happen for you one day” or “i can’t tell you, when it’s your turn, you will know”.

And i mustn’t forget the “you know too much” break up line where your BFF keeps you at arm’s -length because you witnessed the episodes of dissipation of her youth and now she wants to put her past and everyone from it behind her.

We can go on and on citing the things that drive the wedge between best friends. Actually, all the reasons why “we aren’t that close anymore” will fit in.But some BFFs will make it to the finish line and weave that rich tapestry of friendship into their emerging family lines. It is these rare few who will truly know the rewarding joy of friendship.

To all my BFFs, met and unmet...I HAVE A DREAM... that one day our children will be BFFs too! And yes our lives will take different turns and we will do different things but hopefully our friendships would make it through. Like Cece Winans said, i hope we ’d always be sisters and we’d always be friends. The kind who forgiving each other and letting love cover, stay real close till the very end.

MY ONE PERFECT LAZY DAY!

2011-04-20T09:56:00.000+01:00

A Word of Encouragement.

In today’s post i want to leave a word of encouragement for somebody. God is the greatest advocate (defender, name – clearer, restorer, supporter, backer and campaigner) and he will settle your case. He is the keeper of your dreams. The lifter of your head. He owns the future and in it you make it. Nobody can seek audience with him just to change his mind about you. Your destiny is sure, secure and nobody can do anything about it. Nobody can steal it, douse it or even delay it... it is finished. The events have been set in motion. It will Be. Believe. Live.

Now to the part that is writing for the sake of writing...

Yesterday was declared “the Omonike public holiday”! Let me explain. My weekends are usually spent divided between meetings, hair appointments, church and choir practice and weekdays are fully packed with work, more choir practice, business meetings and a social life as lean as Joseph’s seven metaphorical cows from bible history. But yesterday was the day i had been telling myself would come. With absolutely no demands on my time and no to do list to check i was ecstatic! I went through the day with this narrative abstractly coming together in my head because it was something to write about- my one perfect lazy day!

I hoped no one would visit and although i had told a friend to spend part of the day with me because i thought i would be bored, now i prayed she’d forgotten. Completely satisfied in my own company i lay on my pink shag rug with clothes i had flung on it for full effect- it was slob day my way so house chores and hygiene were going to have to wait!

Now every expert slob knows that no slob day is complete without food and endless sessions in front of the tube. I stocked on food and movies the day before. I had a plate covered in breakfast in front of me and a pot of “ewure” slowly boiling in the kitchen. The distinct smell of garlic, thyme and goat wafted into the silence that now contained me and the world i stepped into when i opened the pages of “Beside every man” by Serita Jakes.

I groped for a bottle of Coca Cola without taking my eyes off the page, then i remembered that only the day before, an older lady while purring over my fair skin and how i looked “so lovely today” added to her praise, a misplaced comment that i had a tendency to outgrow my “lepa” body in later life. She then proceeded to avert the dreaded day of doom by telling me what to eat or stay away from; “Don’t take Coke” she had said. I nodded feverishly that day but today i took a swig and let the cold, fizzy drink burn the back of my throat.

When i had fed myself till i was weak, i knew i was done on the floor. I inched back to my bed which i had shamelessly slept in way past the wee hours. I lifted my weight with a last effort before crumpling on its brown sheets. And just as i closed my eyes in sweet surrender, an accusing thought crossed my mind, “You have some work from the office”. I dismissed it; after all it was my one day to compensate for meals missed, books unattended, movies ignored and sleep denied!

Today sleep would find me willing and although i was gorged and gravid with food it would be strong enough to carry me.

* Advocate means: 1) Somebody giving support: somebody who supports or speaks in favour of something. 2) A helper: somebody who acts or intercedes on behalf of another. 3) A legal representative: somebody such as a lawyer, who pleads another's case in a legal forum. –Encarta Dictionaries.
*”Ewure” means “goat” in Yoruba.
*”Lepa” is Yoruba slang for “thin”.

TAKING CHANCES...

2011-04-11T18:10:00.000+01:00

Hey people, this post i wrote a story, it’s almost fiction and it’s about a character i call Kautar, i hope you enjoy it!

ONE BY DAY, ANOTHER BY NIGHT.

I watched the other two saunter in. Earlier when i walked into the room the last thing on my mind was my surroundings. Now perched on a black plastic chair, i observed them.

In total there were five girls attired in bright colours and bright make- up. One wore a Mohawk invention that gathered the hair around her ears in braids before toppling them in short tufts on her head. The other wore an “Ankara” dress, embellished with sequins and hesitantly stopping short of her knees. The brightest of them had just spilled into the room with an assistant in tow holding on to a bundle of clothes. From my observatory, i noted the one in a black and gold dress topped with a black turban.

I knew who they were.

Had they seen me? I wondered, considering my choice of dress in a quick thought.

Other than my heavily beaded black and silver necklace and my silver bling ring, i was just the girl in a black suit. My hair had been pulled back from my face in a chignon to give me a corporate look.

I looked back at the lady in black and gold, the one who looked important. I knew her without the familiarity of having met her in person.

Had i seen her on the cover of a magazine?

Then it hit me. She was Madame Ferera of House of Raah!

Wild thoughts came alive in my head without my permission and mind took over matter. This was my chance to do something i had wanted to do since coming home from the States!

Presently, she still stood there. Should i strike or walk away?

I looked beyond her to the rest of the girls. How i admired them. They where the famous Raah Models! Day or night they could do their jobs in springs fashion collection while i had to wear suits to work!

But didn’t i like the suit? i wondered at myself.

Did my liking the glamorous life of these models make me like my corporate job less?

Since i was little, i dreamed i would be a model. My parents never approved. They didn’t understand a career that made me show skin.

“You will go to University in America then join the family business Kautar, forget this modelling thing.” My father won. But being saddled off to New York to study at NYU turned out to be a good thing. I was a student by day but at night i did what i loved- i took up modelling jobs on the side.

That was then. Now my life had changed. I worked long, arduous hours on my small portable computer producing spread sheets, tackling PowerPoint, developing sales pitches, giving presentations and seating in at strategy sessions, only finding time to feed in between writing reports. But today these girls made me wish for my double life again.

I made up my mind and pushed myself forward.

“How much for the photos”? I asked almost too loudly.

My question was directed at the girl standing behind the reception desk.

I had been out of the game for a few years now.

I peeped at them again while the receptionist busied herself with the computer in front of her.

I remembered the catwalk, the beautiful designer clothes, the locations, the freebies, the partying and a feeling of lust for their world assailed me yet again. Transported in thought, i transfigured into my alter ego.

There was no stopping now.

Madame Ferara looked up in surprise as i approached.

“Hi, my name is Kautar” I heard my voice say weakly.

“I am a business analyst by day and a freelance model by night”, i offered, handing her a PSG Consulting business card.

“If i proved that i had a strong walk and beneath my suit was a good frame to show off her creations she would hire me” i thought.

“I would love to audition for you sometime”.

She had a look that said “Walk away little girl”

I tried again. “That’s my card, can i have yours?”

“Say something”, i screamed at her in silence!

She would probably decline.I was coming back to my senses. All my alter ego’s bold powers had left me, only i remained.

She reached into her Miu miu bag,

She was either looking for a gun, a court restriction or a fly- swatter!

“Give me a call sometime...” I must have fainted with my body standing still!

I have no memory of my walk back to the reception to pay for my passport photographs but moments later, i stepped into the sun clutching a black and gold coloured complimentary card in one hand.

Breaths of wind russled up my skirt and i paused to adjust it. I smiled.

I was the business analyst again.

AND NOW I ASK YOU

2011-03-15T13:13:00.000+01:00

I was visiting with a friend recently and our conversation steered into our position on “the God thing”. I wanted to know. I listened while he patiently answered my questions about his journey toward God. When he came to talking about his church going, he pointed it out to me as something he’d discovered kept him away from vices he’d broken up with for good. At that i asked him if he was aware of other things he was doing that were also keeping him on the straight and narrow. And now i ask you. Certain things i keep in my life on purpose have been sign posts in my life pointing me to God and away from vices, i share them here.

CHURCH

Church was God’s idea. Like a Father he wants his children to gather in one place and be fed like children in a family gathering at the dining table at meal times. Everything set on the table is meant to be enjoyed from the opening prayer, the offering of praise and worship through singing, the sharing from the bible, the offering of money as a representation of our surrender of the material things God has allowed us to have e.t.c.

Regardless of what i find in a service, whether it be poor sound quality or a boring message (yep, that happens!), i try to enjoy being in my Father’s house savouring the varied flavours of his presence.
God also wants us to grow in fellowship not in isolation. Think of it like a pack of animals in the forest. They graze together, drink together and travel together. Why do you think they do that? They are safe from predators when they are together! Like the predator, the devil is always hanging around the pack looking for the one that leaves the group or lags behind. The predator can chase the solitary and the prodigal but he can’t chase the entire pack. So remain planted in church. Go when you feel like it and when you don’t feel like it. God will know you are making an effort and bless you for it.

3 reasons not to quit going to church

1. Don’t quit because you are still slipping into sin
The best place for a child of God to be is in the presence of God, that’s the only place where when he falls down trying to stand he will be picked up. That’s the only place where we are promised we will receive grace and find mercy when we need it. God will sometimes use another sensitive person in church to show you His mercy or he will let you feel His mercy. Hang in there and keep hearing the word of God and those stubborn sins will die and drop like bad fruit falling off a healthy tree.

2. The politics
There is politics in church. Live with it. Church folks can hurt you like no unbelieving folks can but remember when you come to meet with God, God comes to meet with you and he can go around those people to get around to you.

3. Hypocritical and critical people
There’s probably someone in the choir, someone in the pastorate and someone in church who has buried a black wolfish fur under white wool. They make you feel like everyone in church is a hypocrite (this may be true in some cases but find out if the pastor is sincere, if s/he walks the talk and if the majority is sincere, but don’t let the black sheep get in your way). Believe me, sometimes this people are planted by the Devil in church to detract from the testimony of that church (the bible relates in the book of Job a situation where when the children of God appeared before Him the devil came as well).

Finally, if the church has issues and you are not growing, find another pastor and find another church. When i was moving to a new city a few years ago i prayed about where to go to church and i believe several years later that God ordered my steps to the right environment for me to grow.

CHOIR
I have always been involved in a department in church and what i have learnt is that it holds you accountable. When you know that you are representing Christ and people see you doing stuff in church, it’s hard to step out during the week and just do what your flesh tells you to. It’s also an environment where you are constantly reminded to be holy, to take the high road and live above sin so it preserves your very soul. Besides you’re too busy doing ministry to find time to get into trouble.

Like a real member of the household, try to get out of the crowd and come into the core; don’t just be a stranger in your father’s house watching askance not participating in what your father is doing. Some churches are not as open as others in this area, but if yours is and you can, then get involved. CAVEAT- if you are struggling with an area in your life that is a dishonour to a ministry you want to serve in within the church, it helps to get it sorted first by getting counselling and help in that area and when you have victory over that sin you can be an even better witness as a church worker or leader.

READING THE BIBLE
The word of God puts the fear of God in you and the fear of God provides the restraint to keep you pure. What happens is, whenever a thought to do wrong rises up in your mind, the word of God will counter that thought with a thought that prompts you to honour God. When you don’t know what the bible says, either from reading it yourself or from hearing it said in church or among your friends, then there is no defence in you to protect you from doing what you don’t want to do. There is no power to overcome temptation. There is no fear of God to restrain you. There is no inner power to exercise the muscle of self control.

PRAYING
Two Sundays ago the pastor reiterated a phrase which the choir had put to song, “More prayer, more power, less prayer, less power”. It reminded me to pray more. Prayer is talking to God. Anyone can talk to Him; there are no qualifications or requirement. God says in Jeremiah 33: 3- “Call to me and i will answer...” A simple way to see prayer is having a conversation with God where you can talk about everything. You can talk about how you feel and what you need; you can ask God for help and for more of his presence in your life. I pray when i am missing a set of keys, i confide in God when i intend to do something wrong, i pray in the bathroom, in the car on the way to work and in my head. You can pray about anything when you really believe God when he says in his word that he is concerned about every detail of your life. He is!

FASTING
Fasting has been missing in my life for a few years now. I intend to jump start that by getting this book on fasting. But i can tell you that God can deliver you out of the grip of sin, the hassles of life and the power of oppression when you fast.

LIKE- MINDED FRIENDS
Oh whats that over used maxim about friends? “Birds of the same feather flock together”? The bible puts it this way- “bad companions ruin good morals”. Good morals are not to be found in friends who lack them in the first place.

EYES AND EARS- WHAT YOU SEE, WHAT YOU HEAR
What we see and what we hear are windows into our hearts. They are the ways we feed things in our minds that live there. If we want certain things in our lives to die we need to starve ‘em by not seeing or hearing ‘em but if we want other things to grow, we need to feed ‘em by seeing and hearing more of ‘em.

YOUR HANDS AND FEET- WHAT YOU TOUCH, WHERE YOU GO

Jesus taught that if a part of your body like your hand is causing you to sin, chop it off. I don’t think he means for us to harm ourselves, what he was saying figuratively was to cut off from things we shouldn’t put our hands into or places we shouldn’t go to. Better to do without them than to go to hell with them.

The problem with sin is it can be a one stubborn, life- long stain on our conscience- its high maintenance. I don’t want to continually pay with my innocence and my conscience just to keep up with a sinful habit. God’s power is at work in us through the Holy Spirit and in combination with one or more of the eight signposts i shared above to give us a wise and blessed life. Live it today!
Omonaikee

What is she thinking?

2011-02-26T17:48:00.000+01:00

I stole a glance at the round face of my wrist watch before resuming feigned attention at the owner of the baritone voice i had been listening to. His eyes caught me off guard just then and i held my breath. I still hadn’t gotten used to his piercing gaze and doubted i ever would. “He fine”, i said to myself in the American accent for emphasis. Lowering my gaze for fear that he could read my thoughts, i pretended to listen again while i resolved the fate of our friendship in my mind.

There was a certain hardness about him. Hardness he’d need a desperate emotion like loneliness or loss to thaw. I could tell by practised intuition that he had ice blocks where more tender emotions used to be. He wasn’t ready. Presently, his question woke me out of my thoughts.

“Yes let’s go” i answered managing a small smile.

I had my answer.

The expectation in his eyes pinched me and i quickly remembered to add that we should do this again sometime.

Saidu was handsome and wise beyond his year and peers but i couldn’t shake off my woman instincts. They had never failed me before. Someone once said a woman can take one look at a man and tell many things about him, i wondered if i had the gift. I could be very intuitive and whenever i met someone my emotions worked like a scanner, reading the upbeats and tempo of the other heart, trying to sense or pick any signals of who they were and could be. I had seldom been wrong and now considered myself a good judge of character. And then there’s always the tell tale sign to rely on...

The tell tale sign says that people very often tell you the truth about themselves when you meet them the first time. Like someone may say “i get annoyed easily” and you gloss over that thinking they mean they are human and can get upset but then they manifest a really touchy personality, expect perfection or are drastic in their response when angered and you suddenly begin to wonder where that came from, but hey they told you that before! Or someone says “ i am impatient” and something about the angle that the light catches their eyes leaves you thinking “oh, he is so sincere!” meanwhile the guy is really telling you where his horns are and little wonder when two months down the road, you come late for a date and he’s gone.

Another person tells you he is principled, you think he means that he is disciplined and focused but he is really saying “i am not flexible”, “i want things done my way” or “it’s either my way or nothing”! Another says giving a woman gifts spoils her, you seat there dreamy eyed thinking this guy wants to do the right things at the right time, but three months later you are still negotiating with him to consider dropping you at the airport, buying you that extension you oh so wanted but couldn’t afford, or taking you out for ice cream! Saidu had said something about being better on his own. Hmmmmm.... that worried me!

When i looked at Saidu i couldn’t explain what i saw but it was there. It was there when he ordered that elderly gateman in a rude voice to open the gate for him! Alarm bells chimed lightly in my head as i remembered something someone had said to me before “ if he cannot be nice to the waiter but is nice to you, he is not nice”. It showed when he walked into my office and wouldn’t speak to anyone in more than a few words until i was there. It showed up in a smirk on his face whenever i was socialising with people of lesser rank.

But could i tell Saidu the truth? When people say “I am not ready for this right now”, don’t they really mean “ i hope you take the hint and leave me alone?” And while the option to lie that i already had a relationship was tempting, i preferred the safe but patronising and over- used “let’s just be friends”. I simply couldn’t tell him i was scared he would break my heart because he came across as emotionally aloof- that type of human who can detach from you in a heartbeat and without a second thought. No, that would require a painful process of explanations. Besides i would be bruising his ego and risking his resentment of me or i might even be instigating him to try harder. Both options i wanted to avoid.

Should i call Saidu, not to tell him i think he can be a cold fish sometimes but to tell him i really don’t think anything can happen between us and just want us to stay friends?

My ringtone breaks through my thoughts, it takes only a minute to see who the caller is...

OMG!

It’s Saidu...

DISCLAIMER!

The events and characters purported to appear in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real or imagined persons met and unmet is purely ingenious on my part! Wink wink! Lol!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Phantom of Valentine

2011-02-17T18:12:00.000+01:00

This past valentines day was spent sorrounded by all of my favorite things. The day actually started at dusk and there i was in a little dress and sparkling silver shoes complete with a tomboy haircut, thoroughly enjoying every minute! This year, i dedicate my valentine’s piece not to the market segment that febraury 14th has become branded and commercialized for, but to the lovers it ignores. Those who this season reminds of a love lost or wasted. Those who remember a love they never had or ever owned but one that tasted, tested, and had them.

This valentines my heart goes out to lovers who got stuck on the way and unable to figure it out, gave up and parted ways. My heart goes out to the hearts stuck in reverse praying a lost love back home. To the newcomer, finding himself, indeed herself, in a virgin place of vulnerablility; to the fearful afraid to take the plunge; to the unprepared shocked that so hard a thing could be demanded of them; and to the one who has been there and done that, and has now taken form in a cold heart banging the door firmly and finally on love.

My heart does not ignore the lover who is folded in a nurturing embrace where she has found her heart’s resting place, for i completely understand her. I know her joy, i muse at her abandon, i understand her smile and i recognise her rich laughter, no i don’t ignore her, not at all! She is standing in a rich place and standing tall, she is holding in her heart the very stuff that this world is made of. Loved by her prince whose heart and kingdom is laid to her claim, she can’t be ignored. Yes, i see her and the world sees her.

But what about the girl , the woman, the woman- girl who hides what lies beneath, what must not be known , what must not be seen? The one who scolds her desire like it’s a bastard child, turning her face adamantly away from it as though she was raped by love and now she hates it’s child- this bundle of weakening emotions that remind her of hungry thrusts that took and took and took.

I am writing for the disappointed who thought that love will be the missing link that makes life complete. I am writing for the true lover who came to love on a level ground and gave it 100% but found something else. Although it was called love, it manifested itself as selfish and one- sided. I am writing for the soul like a bruised reed bent in the wind, praying her broken heart wont break.

To the one who found herself ravaged like a house without gates. The one attacked by enemy forces banging against her walls of defense. With one last heave they reach her deepest, and all she hears is the eerie harmony of voices; his pitch with stolen pleasure, hers only cry, tears a last defense.

But God doesn’t sleep...

This season, i write for women on both sides of the valentine dream. For the woman experiencing the phantom and the woman experiencing the phantasy of valentine. For the woman ensconced and the woman scorned. For the woman fallen in love and the woman fallen out of love.

At the end of the day, it is not about how we have been loved but about how we have loved – wrongly or rightly; poorly or richly; sparingly or generously.

Happy Valentine.

The enemy of intimacy.

2011-02-08T07:04:00.000+01:00

A distinguishing mark of christians is a deep, intimate and personal relationship with God that a child of God continually and daily tends. It is the distinguishing trademark of mature and obedient christians. The fruits and results of that fellowship manifest in other loving relationships, in courtesy and respect toward others, in behaivour that is admirable, in decisions that are wise, in actions that are not self- centered but of benefit to all, in habits/ideas/choices that attract and multiply success e.t.c.

In personal relationship with God, we become transformed by assocciation and come into possession of many desirable virtues characteristic of God himself. We begin to exude the brand presence of God’s people. The good news is this is the way God transforms us into his likeness. The bad news is this is the area the enemy will attack the most. One of the ways he attacks our identity as christians is by getting us to replace our time of intimacy with God with other “stuff”. He will tempt us with getting so busy with other things that cultivating closeness with God through prayer and bible study will suffer. Being too busy is an enemy of intimacy.

Over the last couple of months and maybe even most of last year, my schedule was crammed with a lot of things and in between catching up with this and balancing the other, i had an underlying discouragement about the little time i had to do God and me. Even when i settled down to it, there were other voices in my mind screaming for attention, reminding me i had to do something or i was behind with something else. Anyway, one day on an uneventfull road trip, i stared out of the window of a beat – up commercial vehicle transporting my even more beat- up body and finally had the desire to pray. I prayed quietly but deeply as the car meandered from city to city and i felt my heart soften in release. As if God had been waiting for an opening to get through to me, the thought of the parable of the sower dropped in my thoughts and i quickly opened the bible i had stuffed into my hand luggage to find the story. As i searched, i came to the verse about the seeds that fell on the soil where weeds came and chooked them up;

“... Some fell in the weeds; as it came up, it was strangled among the weeds and nothing came of it...”

I continued to the explanation and realised that that was the exact state of my heart. See:

“ The seed cast in the weeds represents the ones who hear the kingdom news but are overwhelmed with worries about all the things they have to do and all the things they want to get. The stress strangles what they heard and nothing comes of it.” (Mark 4: 3-20)

“How apt” i thought.

I certainly dont think God doesnt want us to strive to our highest potential, but i definately know he wants us to make room for him and for his words in our lives and in our hearts and he wants to produce in our lives results beyond our wildest dreams through his workings in us and through us. Every time i come across a verse i had discovered and highlighted in my bible years before, now forgotten, i wish for the good old days when i consumed the bible hungrily, and with nostalgia i pray desire finds fire in me to burn again.

Even as i write this there is still a lot of movement and motion in my heart but i am getting back into the steadfast word of God and making room for it in my time and in my heart. In Jesus’s time, do you know the thing that plagued the people who didnt embrace him? The word of God didn’t find entrance in their hearts even when they heard it. We shouldn’t let that happen to us. I came across a scripture in Ezra that captures and fortifies my hope in this area this year:

“Ezra had committed himself to studying the Revelation of God , to living it, and to teaching Isreal to live it’s truth and ways.” Ezra 7: 10, MSG

Hookayyyyy! Time to get ready for work, i hope you were blessed reading. Later!

The old FASHIONS of love

2010-12-09T04:06:00.000+01:00

Something about weddings and marriage remind me of the church where i grew up. Every now and again when i return to visit, the place looks smaller and the sermons sound familiar. The seniors also look older and i wonder if they shrunk overnight because now they are less- threatening and less like the no - nonsense people i used to know. Age passes the baton of exuberance between generations, relieving one and appointing the next.

There is just an unapologetic charm in quaint chapels like mine. It’s the same quaintness of wedding into married life. It has little to do with the good quality of the music, the fashion sense of the majority or the sohisticated order of the service, which may sometimes be lacking. The secret lies in that sense of belonging which exudes to newcomer and old timer alike. The appeal is in the state of harmony where oddity blends with antiquity to form a mosaic of many picturesque moments!

In my chapel, it’s the familiarity that changes what could be considered uncouth between strangers into fodder for hearty laughter among friends. It’s the unburied fights between the disapproving older generation and the defensive younger generation. They have never quite gotten over your unforgivable, adolescent disregard for their preferences in music and fashion! They will never understand why you like to wear your skirts a bit shorter or your make-up a little bolder, neither will they ever decipher your preference for trousers over skirts!

These sentiments are a few of the elements which add an intangible value to the tradditional church where i come from. When i am there, i am received like i never went away. I realise i am still plugged into the lingo, the in- house jokes and all of the favours bequeathed to me as a reward for being a part of it’s history. That history has also become a defining part of my cornucopia of life’s experiences. For this communual feeling which i cannot find within the walls of any mega- church, i go back to the good, old - fashioned chapel from time to time!

But that is not all. There is something old - fashioned too about weddings. Something old - fashioned about love. Old - fashioned as our ancestors who came before us and inexhaustible as eternity to come and eternity before us! (did you get the pun?). And it is not common that an old love is reincarnated so that two young people share in modern millennia, a love that is pure and wise and true and unselfish; one reminiscent of the old fashions of love. I attended a wedding that joined in matrimony a very old - fashioned love between two discerningly wise, young and
“new- fashion” people.

“What does old - fashioned love look like?” you ask me. I’ll tell you.

If you have loved before then you must know that love is spiritual. Something about the free- giving and free- receiving of hearts bears resemblance to a human being laying down or giving up his/her life for a friend. Divine. This is how you can discern it: If your love does not need to unburden the truth or shower with abundance the undeserving or run up a debt of forgiveness or sacrifice self to preserve it or worship God for the very gift of having it , then you are experiencing an inferior form of it. If your love isnt brazen enough to fulfill itself in the way your heart has taught it to you, but you have to look in the books of others first to adapt it, you haven’t found it!

Between those two leaf- loves (a type of songbird) getting married, there where a thousand words but their quiet submission to God and each other was the sum of them all. Selah!

The old fashions of love remain. Pure, simple and unclaimed for every heart sincere enough to reach it. Love never needed an adjective to qualify it. It never needed to be differentiated into true love, real love, erotic love, pure love or one love! It was just this plain, old - fashioned thing called: love. Although it manifests in and is made evident by many things, and although many things bear it witness, love itself is only one thing.

I promised you tales of frills and laces, pinks and beige, feathers and roses... fail you i dare not! It’s the wedding series people!

The WEDDING series (LOL , this is going to be hilarious...)!

2010-12-07T12:51:00.000+01:00

I love weddings when i have one to attend and i always allow myself be swept into the wispy, misty , fairy tale aura they create. What all that “hinglish” there means is that i just cooperate with the atmosphere and let it teach me what to feel... ( if only people did that often they’d be more blessed in church, look more empathetic to their friends and family and have more romantic moments multiplied unto them in their relationships lol).

Weddings indeed give us rare moments to savor . They are the only events where every generation in the family can participate and enjoy each others role amicably. The younger generation get the chance to “bugey” and be exuberant while the Uncles and Aunties watch admiring their energy and creativity and the older generation get to sway to more laid back music thrilling the young with their more deliberate and calculated moves. Even the children are admired for their dexterity on the dance floor and are permitted to steal the spot light from time to time. Also at weddings, we regain our familiarity with solemn moments which thereafter fade into the drab and drag of our daily grind.

At weddings i scan for those soft and subtle moments that pass by you, their signals so tiny on your emotion’o’meter that you almost miss them if you aren’t tuned into the magic that is possible in that atmosphere. My favorite part is the exchange of vows between the couple. Something about the hush as the couples say to each other words of ardent devotion, sets into motion the goose bumps that travel up every inch of skin on my body, transporting teardrops into my eyes! I lie not! (They are called goose tears!)

Some things never escape me like the nervous look of the bride when the Minister says in heightened suspense, ”you may kiss the bride” or the tender look of the couple’s parents as they witness a replay of their own joining or the oohs and aahs of the single ladies hanging on to their seats in excitement as they watch their fantasies jump to life straight out of the pages of a romance novel! (or straight out of the cob webs of their over used fantasies which are frequently rehearsed , reviewed and reused at the slightest excuse of a romantic desire, untill all passing thought is followed in hot pursuit by their wedding day dreams!) Seriously some people are hooked on the idea of a marriage ceremony and they need to be checked into the “ the wedding day dreamer rehab centre”!

This year a number of my friends donned the sacrificial white dress and took unhastened steps to vow at the sacred altar, where in a ceremonial gathering of traditional witnesses, they were sworn into a marital union! (LOLLLLL! Did i have to make it sound eerie like that?). Well i have memoirs from each wedding which i tell here in a series of epistles! Join me as we go through the maze of emotions to capture from the delicate threads of memory, wedding tales of laces and frills, dames and maids, brides and bridezillas... and i’ll tell you everything. I promise...

To be continued.....lolllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll!!!

THE ENEMY WITHIN

2010-11-22T09:11:00.000+01:00

There are four things that are unnatural to me in this life. Four things i cannot bear! It is unnatural to say “let there be light” in my house and there is no light. Even God said “let there be light” and there was light! The second thing i cannot stand is to see a dissappointed youth. The very strength of youth implies possibility, so it is very unnatural to have youth and strength and live below the potential and promise it holds.

The third thing that i think is absolutely unnatural is a burnt field. Greenery burnt to char, the ground laid bare and wasted, trees parched up, dried of their moisture and stifled of their life. That picture is unnatural. Green grass, vibrant trees, abundant lush? That’s nature. That’s natural. Life is natural, abundance is natural, vibrance is natural , productivity is natural, fruiting is natural, being supported by the piece of earth that holds your roots is natural, just like it is natural for our country to prosper and unnatural for it to fail miserably in the clutches of poverty, corruption, injustice, and it’s other unnatural ills.

The fourth thing i cannot bear, that is unbearably unnatural, is to have a dream, to see it, hear it, taste it, feel it and then it doesn’t come true. One reason why people’s dreams don’t come true is called “discouragement”. It is a silent killer. It is potent enough to take out not only the dreams of one person but even the hopes of an entire nation.

For instance, in Nigeria, we have seen so much oppression, corruption and injustice and have witnessed the untimely abortion of many attempts at sanity in some sectors, so when someone expresses a positive hope for our country in our hearing, we respond half heartedly that things will never change. They can and they will but discouragement will steal our chance if we let it. I tell you, whenever God is trying to do the impossible in our lives or in a people he stirs up hope, he inspires “believe” , he awakens faith. Isn’t that what God is prompting us to do for our country? Hope. The devil has gotten wind of that and is trying to stiffle it because he knows that if we dare have hope as a country, we would start to pray. And when we pray things will change.

The very rythm of steady prayer will unite us in one purpose. Our collective prayers will harness for us the most powerful forces in the universe: prayer and unity. That’s why we need to take hold of that line of hope, muster our strength and pray out the devil and his pandora’s box of evil from our land.

Have you ever come to a stalemate where you lack strength and inner resolve and feel a total loss of energy to do something you used to believe in or feel strongly about? Have you ever felt irritated by a pattern playing out in your life but can’t seem to muster enough strength to change it and you feel like you are helplessly watching yourself do nothing?

Discouragement is the enemy of strength. The devil is the author of discouragement. The tools of his trade are obstacles meant to stymie (hinder, block, thwart, prevent, confound, frustrate, upset, stump, mystify, baffle) your dreams and desires. He specialises in stinging you with a dose of unpleasant reality until you accept defeat.

Let me show what the blueprint says-

we are God’s own handiwork, recreated in Christ Jesus by being born again( being born into a spiritual life with him) so that we may do those good works which God predestined or planned before hand for us, taking those parts which he prepared ahead of time that we should walk in them, living the good life which he prearranged and made ready us to live.

And it also says:

God is able to make all grace, favour and earthly blessing come to you in abundance, so that you may always and under all circumstances and whatever the need be self sufficient, possessing enough to require no aid or support and furnished in abundance for every good work and charitable donation.

That’s whats up for grabs. That’s what discouragement is trying to rob you of.

I’m really daring to “a state of believe”, anyone who feels discouraged about a forward movement that they are expecting to happen in their life. It is natural to be happy, settled, established or fulfilled. It is natural to prosper. The devil will try to discourage that hope, don’t let him win over you. For that person, you need to pray against every hindrance the devil has put in your way, in your thoughts, in your mind, in your attitude or in your emotions.

In 1 thessalonian 2:18, Paul talks about being hindered, impeded and stymied by the Devil when he was making repeated efforts to see the believers at Thessalonica. Yep that happens so pray. You need to sustain your faith and hope by feeding on the word of God- the source of faith. Ever read these words in your bible; “Faith cometh by hearing the word of God”?

God will put steel into the frailest hopes and faintest expectations and give you the power you need to break out of the stalemate of discouragement. It is God who is all the while effectually at work in you , energizing and creating in you the power and desire both to will and do what needs to be done to make your dreams come true.

I pray that God grants you today; to be strenghtened and reinforced with mighty power in your innerman, by the Holyspirit who himself indwells your innermost being and your personality, so that you may have the power and be strong to apprehend and grasp a total measure of what God has prepared for you to have and experience.

Don’t be discouraged. Be full of hope.

THESE ARE A FEW OF MY FAVOURITE THINGS...

2010-11-14T23:28:00.000+01:00

From the time i was little, i have been attracted to things that sparkle in the light. I remember how i used to pick up beads, colored embellishments, sequins, even sweet wraps, stones and pieces of glass. I pretended they where precious stones and i was a princess. They were my wardrobe for my princess diary fantasies. So today when i insist a tailored dress must come fully embellished with stones and shiny things my mum just laughs whimsically reminiscing my wee days when i waited for the studs on her shoes to fall off, ran after the colored stones on her laces, or pretended to be her wearing her jewelry!

Well i guess old habits die hard because when i enter a jewelry store i catch fever just looking from one show glass to the next. The large cocktail rings, the bracelets, the beaded and chain neck pieces, the studded belts, and tasty ear pieces leave my throat dry. A colleague who once witnessed my fidgeting was totally bewildered. He said commenting on the incident later, that i was literary shaking! I have since earned the names Esmeralda , Bedazzled and Sparklerella from my girlfriend who teases me whenever i make an appearance with a new piece for my jewelry collection. Yes i like all that glitters, gold or not!

But now to the good stuff....

The idea of 2010 was hard for me to capture even 2-3 years ago because it looked like a major milestone from Y2K, but 2010 has come and is passing and i thought i should write something to remind us about the goals we made at the beginning of the year.

Sometimes in the pursuit of our goals we ourselves could be the stumbling blocks - now i don’t mean we physically do things to hurt or hinder our progress but i refer to our thoughts where we can think up the obstacles of fear, dig pits of discouragement or blot out the light of hope with doubt. The enemy within is a mind full of disempowering beliefs, negative emotions and negative thoughts.

A negative thought is that line of discussion you have with yourself that drains your energy and keeps you from moving forward toward a solution or a desired result.”They are disintegrating elements which break up the straight line of effort, rendering it crooked, ineffectual, useless” says Author James Allen about thoughts like doubt and fear in his book, As a man thinketh. A mind assailed by self doubt and/or crippling fears doesn’t believe in itself. These thoughts of inability or weakness lead to failure.

Wouldn’t it be ironical to expend physical effort to attain a goal and at the same time continue to frustrate it’s accomplishment by entertaining thoughts and phobias, attitudes and habits which do not harmonize with what you want and desire? James Allen writes “ As the physically weak man can make himself strong so the man of weak thoughts can make them strong”. Personally i read my bible every day because it is a repository of positive thoughts and right attitudes that attract success. The general idea is to align your dominant thoughts with the attainment of the goals you are externally striving to achieve.

You are most certainly not your moment of weakness or your experience of failure. You are not your weakness, YOU are your strengths put together. Rehearsing poor thoughts won’t give you a sense of power but a sense of failure and inadequacy. There’s more to define our capability than mistakes we’ve made. There’s more to show our strength than the trials that have defeated us. We are people with ability to do and to change and that’s the kind of thinking that should be in a mind that has become friends with itself and its goals.

So there... as the year faithfully ticks away fulfilling its allotment of days, i hope someone reading this also ticks off as done this year’s allotment of goals!

Eka’s bridal shower

2010-11-07T21:06:00.001+01:00

Eka is the modern day Florence Nightingale with a Monalisa smile. She’s quite the girl next door so when the girls asked me to be the emcee at her bridal shower, i knew it would be a sensible evening. Bridal showers these days turn into wild parties crawling with good girls anxious to get bad. The game of “truth or dare” is quite a favorite, because you can get away with asking a total stranger their dirty secrets or with taunting a friend into confessing a surreptitious tryst. Wresting truth from unwilling lips gets more entertaining when a girl chooses a dare. When this happens, her “questioner” becomes the evil stepsister, daring her to an embarrasing task with a penalty. But knowing our bride -to- be, we suspected she would exorcise her guests of such schoolgirl antics if we dared them.

We realised there would be different classes of women; single, dating, engaged, and married. It could be an opportunity to trade life’s recipes and hand down ageless secrets, woman to woman. So began the best bridal shower i ever attended. We spent our time asking questions, sharing experiences and trading lessons. The single girls wanted to know the challenges of their married friends. Everybody wanted to know how Eka met Mr Right.

We spent an especially long time resolving one girl’s concern about sex before marriage. I was alarmed when i realized how little the younger girls knew. While they had been told sex outside the nurturing environment of a marriage relationship was wrong, nobody had ever told them why. Even those who thought it was wrong based on religion, could not back their religious beliefs with personal conviction. There was a brief arguement then but Eka punctuated it from a biblical standpoint that fornication is a sin and God’s way is abstainance. For a minute we forgot it was a bridal shower not a women’s conference.

We tackled the myth that if a girl didn’t have “work experience”, a man wouldn’t want her but which man likes to know someone has had you before he married you? I wondered if those who peddled these ideas would be happy to teach it to their sisters. We agreed that if it wasn’t good for the sisters it definately wasn’t good for the girlfriends. One undergrad student was scared her boyfriend would leave her if she didn’t give in. If he really loves you he wont ask you to do something you don’t want to or threaten to leave you because you didn’t let him have his way. But what if you’re sure you’ll marry him?

To help the girls we did an exercise called “Getting motivated by the fear of consequences”. We explored all the possible effects of dating with “benefits”. We considered every angle including how it could affect the ladies emotionally and spiritually. We also explored hypothetical scenarios, like what could happen if they were found out by someone who would be dissappointed in them or if they realised it wasn’t love but he just wanted to get in their pants or if he dumped them for another girl or if they ended up marrying someone else. Here, i observed that every one seemed to know a tale about some friend whose freedom of expression later caught up with her in married life. By the end of the exercise, we noticed that while getting pregnant was a common item on their lists, getting dumped and contracting a disease were some of the most feared consequences.

Just before the food was put away and the dancing began, every woman in the house gave the bride -to- be a piece of advice. Each woman gave freely from her experience. It was all heart felt, Eka cried. Many days later, i still cherish the bond of sisterhood formed from laughter loaned and tears borrowed at Eka’s bridal shower.

THE TWOFOLD BLESSING.

2010-10-29T06:38:00.000+01:00

I had another encounter recently with Mr Joel Osteen (remember my post about our first encounter?), let me tell you what happened. I was attending this conference and was quickly reminded that those things are seldom fun. Right about the time i was getting bored with my sorroundings and looking for a distraction from my distraction of choice, Mr Osteen showed like a good fairy godmother (er erhm , i beg your pardon Mister Osteen!). He was sitting on the rugged shelves of a book stand! Of course, he was smiling like he usually does, and wearing a black suit. It’s true! We (Mr J. Osteen and me that is) quickly got to talking, and he started telling me all this good stuff about “Becoming a better you”! This was just the sort of thing i needed to hear so after the conference i took me, my tired body and Mr Osteen back home ( erhm ... i didn’t think Mrs Osteen would mind very much) LOL

Anyways, “Becoming a better you” is a great book by J. Osteen which i am reading at the moment!

THE GOOD STUFF

I want to share something i learnt this year from my bible study. I call it the twofold blessing or the law of compensation. Read with me...

“Instead of your former shame, you shall have a twofold recompense; instead of dishonour and reproach your people shall rejoice in their portion. Therefore in their land they shall possess double what they had forfeited and everlasting joy shall be theirs” Isaiah 61: 7, AMP.

I first found out about the compensating blessing of God when i read that scripture but i didnt know what the two – fold recompense meant. I only knew from checking the dictionary that recompense means “ to give compensation to somebody for an injury or loss “ . On the authority of that word, i knew i could lay claim to a twofold compensation if i had an area of injury ( shame, dishonour, reproach e.t.c) or loss ( forfeited rights, with held dues, deprived entitlements). I understood that God would make things up to me where i had received undeserved treatment or suffered innocently- that much was clear. I would later find out more.

A few months afterward, i was in church with alot to thank God for when a thought dropped in my spirit;

God restores, then He compensates!

As i thought about it, i remembered Job. I became restless, waiting for the last “amen” so i could race home to check out Jobs experience for myself. I was eager to see if i would find a definate place where it said that God specifically restored then compensated and when i checked i saw the twofold, two-part blessing there!

1. The blessing of Restoration: The blessing that turns the captivity. The blessing that brings a turn about (a turn about is the act of turning completely around in the opposite direction or a shift from one situation to another that is the complete opposite). The blessing of restoration reinstates, reestablishes or restitutes.

2. The blessing of a Double portion: The blessing that doubles, the blessing that gives twice as much as what was before, the double for your trouble blessing, the blessing that attracts honour, brings sympathy and gives comfort and compensation.

Let me show you;

In the book of Job, from the first chapter, Job’s faith was tested (not unlike the trials you and i have in our lives) and in a single day he lost his assets & wealth (7,000 sheep, 3,000 camels, 500 yoke of oxen and 500 females donkeys), and all of his seven sons and three daughters. When God turned about Job’s situation, the book records that God blessed the latter days of Job more than his beginning. I believe the blessing Job received was the twofold recompense mentioned in Isaiah.

See Job 42: 10
“And the lord (1)turned the captivity of job and restored his fortunes; also the lord(2) gave Job twice as much as he had before.” AMP.

God restored all of Jobs children and every asset he had lost, then he doubled it giving Job 14,000 sheep, 6,000 camels, 1,000 yoke of oxen and 1,000 female donkeys. Talk about double for your trouble! The blessing even overflowed to the next generation because Job’s daughters were the fairest girls in the land and although they were women, they received an equal inheritance as their brothers!

“Because you got a double dose of trouble and more than your share of contempt, your inheritance in the land will be doubled and your joy go on forever.”Isaiah 61: 7. MSG

It also happened for Joseph. When God turned Joseph’s slavery around, he restored his freedom and then he gave him double for his trouble- he took him from the prison to the palace! Wow! When God restores, he compensates; when he reverses captivity, he makes up for lost ground; when he allows you go through the shame and the blame; he allows you to be comforted! He sends a blessing of compensation- the twofold recompense!

He is a God who gives beauty for ashes, strenght for fear, gladness for mourning, peace for despair! He is a God who turns mourning into dancing! Who binds the broken hearted and heals their wounds! God will make us forget the pain of yesterday! He is a good God! Say with me:

Lord i thank you because i will rejoice in my portion.
Thank you because you will restore whatever i have been deprived of.
Thank you because you will compensate me for everything i have lost.
Thank you because i have double for my trouble. Amen

FALLING IN LOVE WITH MY LIFE.

2010-10-25T12:11:00.000+01:00

FALLING IN LOVE WITH MY LIFE.

I took another sad look at my blog the other day and decided to do something about the sinking feeling i felt at it’s unupdated status;
Nike, this simply wouldn’t do!
I am a writer, and a writer rights, write?
LOL

Recently, a friend of mine from school invited me to collaborate on his radio project. It’s called Da Music Room and it’s a radio spin off of Nigeria’s first gospel news and music magazine- Imbue Magazine. It would be motivating, uplifting, about music and for young people and hey, it was radio, i couldn’t resist! I and radio have a little history, hmmn now let me see...

Way back in secondary school i was in Press club. I can barely remember any constructive activities back then except the club meetings which were usually dominated by the senior students. I also vividly remember we paid club dues. One day, one of the seniors informed me that i was behind with my dues and she promptly proceeded to total up my indebtedness! When she announced the amount which must have been something in the region of N100- N150, i quickly withdrew my membership , alarmed that that was more than half of my pocket money at the time! LOL! So that was the end of Press club. They were kind enough to give me a certificate of membership to remember them by at graduation though!

I soon transited to University and joined the school’s radio club in my fourth year. It was a short but memorable stay! We ran the affairs of the station by ourselves, developed the programs, and came on air from 4pm everyday. I met other talented young people hungry to try out their raw and sometimes trained talent on the school airwaves. That was fun while it lasted and i met friends who are both in my life and in radio till today (you know who you are fam!).

School done and i moved out of my small town to the big city of real street lights, real cinemas and upwardly mobile people... everything looked big and fascinating! I figured the radio stations would be bigger, the sponsorships better and the guests more accessible and i was right but i had to start at the beaten tracks called NYSC,National Youth Service Corps.

During the weeks at the National Youth Service Corps boot camp, i joined the Orientation Broadcasting Service (OBS) as the Vice President for my batch. I developed programs for our make shift station and ran two of my own. One was a motivational talk and the other was about relationships. On the latter, i and my co – presenter would come up with naughty, pretend relationship problems and ask the other corp members to come up with advice...

’I have a boyfriend outside camp and i have fallen in love with someone here, what do i do?’

Corp members would then write their equally naughty responses and we’d broadcast their comments! It was hilarious! People would actually come into the studio while i was on to see the owner of the voice and i got a lot of complimentary shoutouts from our listeners! lol.

Soon after youth service i did a couple of things on the radio for friends but it would take me another year before i was invited to co- present for Da Music room. It airs in the capital city, Abuja and you can hear yours truly and co –presenter Paulette on Sunday afternoon, for a solid hour from 11pm – 12noon on hot 98.3 Abuja. This collaboration that started out of supporting my friend’s vision has come to be a blessing to me as well!

On a parting note, It’s been one busy year and i almost forgot how to live because of all the doings. BUT, i took time to fall in love with my life again and here’s how, it’s wholesome advice people and it’s all good- ENJOY!

1. EMBRACE WHERE YOU ARE
2. CELEBRATE YOUR LITTLE VICTORIES
3. TAKE ADVANTAGES OF OPPORTUNITIES IN YOUR ENVIRONMENT
4. ELIMINATE WORRY
5. PREPARE FOR YOUR FUTURE
6. WORK ON YOURSELF
7. INVEST IN RELATIONSHIPS
8. SPACE OUT YOUR GOALS
9. HUSTLE WHILE YOU WAIT
10. HELP OTHERS ACHIEVE THEIR DREAMS

BOBO OR BOO?

2010-05-23T21:09:00.000+01:00

CONFESSIONS OF A BONDAHOLIC!

If girl- bonding were an art, i think i have perfected it! One of my girlfriends is counting down to her happily-ever-after, and she's been spending the precious remaining threads of her singlehood weaving stronger bonds with the girls and me! In between becoming experts on all things bridal and going over details and more details, we have found time for sisterly chats with the bride to be! Oh! don't worry about what that means, it's just girl -talk for saying we've been shameless busybodies!

I mean whether she is 40 or 22, the announcement of a girl's engagement always meets with a flurry of female, hair-flying, scream- squealing, hand- flapping, totally emotional displays! After the excitement settles, the blushing culprit, who is not just the fiancee and not yet a bride,is put through a gauntlet of questions; ranging from;

"when did you know he was the one?" to " are you scared?".

Then comes the admiration phase. This is when somewhere in the third degree session, this bride-to be suddenly grows from "the girl" of yester- years into a "confident woman" before your very eyes; as if her decision to take this leap of faith, has somehow baptised her into full womanhood. She begins to look like she knows something you, the single woman somehow do not see and that that singular thing makes her superior- makes her sure...set...ready!

"she's no longer on our level o!"

Then there's the last phase, where all your emotions first settle into deep respect for your friend, the conspiracy called love and the marriage instituition,before they finally sediment into a quiet, concealed assurance that if it can happen for one, then it can happen for the other!

oh, I just love happy endings!

wee!

Enuff Nike!

Ok, so i wrote this one about 6 months ago and couldn't think of a better time to share than now, so to all my Nigerian brothers and all the women who love them, this one's for you!

BOBO OR BOO?

If he can pass for a local on the outside but is an “onyibo” on the inside, you can be certain you have an intercontinental Nigerian guy a.k.a boo! You can tell because he doesnt wear “ankara” but always looks spiffy in crisp shirts from next or gap. He probably calls you “baby” and uses intangible pet names like “snugglebunny” to describe you. And yes, he doesnt always get your innuedos and you dont hear everything he says the first time, but when he says “i love you” , you know his is the voice you want to hear first thing when you wake up and last thing before you fall asleep! He knows how to pamper and spoil you and probably gives you flowers, chocolates, perfumes, and designer clothes from his trips abroad. He is quite the gentleman and probably pulls out your chair and opens the door for you. He doesn’t mind that you’re career driven and is quick to support you whether you want to be a doctor or an artist. When he tells you sweet nothings, you blush and giggle because even though you know it’s absolute rubbish, it makes perfect sense!

And if he says “i rove you” when he means “i love you”, then you know you have a naija guy with a local flavour, a.k.a bobo! You may fault his phonetics but there’s plenty to like about this son of the soil. With the right steel in his chest and the perfect pout on his lips, you can’t deny you secretly like his swagger and that almost brash way he talks in naija slang. He probably says stuff like “no long thing” and calls you pet names like “o baby”, “sweetim”or “Nne”, mother because yours reminds him of his mother’s love. He probably takes you to eat “nkwobe” and “isi ewu” and knows where to find the best point and kill joints where you can eat fresh fish. And even though he is not from your home town, he has won your family over and whenever he comes to visit, your siblings know that “big bros” is around. He understands the igbo word- “maintenance moni” and doesnt wait for you to ask but just takes care of it. He buys your recharge cards and doesn’t expect you to spend all of it on him and yes, he’s even man enough to tell you when he’s broke!

Regardless of the tonal inflections of his tribal language on the english language or the cultural imprint of his environment on his behaviour, naija man na naija man! So ladies lets make a toast, shall we, to the Nigerian man.

Naija man wey sabi!

All is fair in love, war... and boarding school?

2010-03-03T13:41:00.000+01:00

OK i’m back!

I hadn’t expected my last post would be the last for ‘09 but it turned out that way. It wasn’t a typical case of writer’s block only that my entrepreneurial instincts have been awakened in the last three months and it’s taken every ounce of my creative energy leaving me none to write with. But i’m coming out of my hiatus and catching up with the rest of blogworld so hey everybody, i’m back!

Recently, an old friend contacted me for the first time in almost ten years. I was totally surprised to hear from her and was even more bewildered when i realised why she was getting back in touch. As the story slowly tumbled out, she explained that while we were in school together she had done something to me which i had completely forgotten. It was one of those schoolgirl pranks that didnt matter afterwards and now she was calling ten years later to apologise and restitute. I couldn’t stop myself from tearing up. In the middle of wondering why she hadn’t forgotten what had happened so long ago and of wondering what was causing her sudden need to make it up to me, i couldn’t help thinking of how important it is to mend fences when you can and not be in a position where you have to start looking for someone you’d offended to apologise later. I quickly put her worries to rest and assured her it didnt matter at all. Afterall, all is fair in love, war and boarding school, eh?

His word, His ways and His will.

This year i believe God’s Great help is available to do mighty things. I heard the phrase above early in the year and it very simply amplified for me the direction my quest for God would take. Many of us by reading it and hearing it, know God’s word (the bible) but we do not know God’s ways and are very often totally confused about His will. To know Him intimately, we need to know His word, His ways and His will. Knowing God’s word is only knowing a part of him. The part that speaks. But knowing God’s way is knowing the part that acts. The bible describes God’s ways as being higher than our ways , it also encourages us to observe the way God works and fall in line. God’s ways are intriguing. One of his ways is forgiveness. No matter what we do, God is ready to forgive us. Another one is love. It is in God’s character to love us inspite of what we do and who we are. That’s God. That’s just the way he is. We are called to be like Him in our ways too! When we know God’s word and God’s ways, it will be easy to discern His will.

So my silence has been broken, now i can go to bed... its ten past midnight! But before Zzzzs and before my foray into the land between asleep and awake, let me take out time to brag on another blogger whose blogs i follow, on the launch of her blog series now turned book “in my dreams it was simpler.” Favoured girl’s “ a journey down the aisle” is my favourite of her blogs and it chronicles her experience from her single and dating days up on till her married ones highlighting lessons she’s learnt along the way. She is very bold about her relationship with God and weaves it into all her stories of her human ones. In her blog you meet the lady , her lover and her lord . From blogs to books, she’s taking blogging to a new level! Reminds me of another blogger- Uche Eze of Bella Naija. Big ups ladies!

I totally look forward to the unfolding of two thousand and ten, this is the year for mighty men!

Been took home to Mama.

2009-11-29T19:16:00.000+01:00

I woke up one harmattan morning knowing my emotions were against me. I was aware of a feeling of sadness that made me just want to cry. I also knew without needing to dig too deep what it was all about. A delightfully dear friend of mine who took a cupid arrow in the heart for me once, and who thankfully is still affectionately disposed to me regardless, had come to visit the day before and we played catch up. Even though we’d been pals a few years, i relished the quality of our friendship as it now stood; never been lovers, twice been friends. He told me all about his career, his forays in business, his writing which we have in common, it’s evolution and of course his love interests ( I’m a hopeless romantic, i never spare my friend’s love lives) . As our talk wore on into the last minutes of conversation, he suddenly said to me, “Nike you are the type to take home to Mama” . His comment didn’t have the usual effect on me, i was lost in thought.

In the first six months of this year life was a breeze. I was ensconced in testimony after testimony, month after month, but as the year stepped into it’s concluding half cycle, i got unlucky in love and had a hurtfull falling out with it. As if hit by a gaint wave, i found myself at the low ebbs of life’s current and literally found myself there. In the whirl of battered emotions, something strange began to happen- my spiritual life had a chance to grow. Humbled by pain, numbed by suffering, i was more open to listen to God. I was so sobered that i wrote in one journal entry:

I’m numb
I have no pride
I have no shame
No tears to cry
No tantrums to throw
I’m no longer looking for a way out
I ‘m not looking for a short cut
I’m just waiting for this cup to pass over me
I’m waiting to be fine again

Interestingly, this year i set for myself the laudable goal to read the entire new testament. My strategy was to read a chapter or two a day. I made this decision in Febraury when i had this unsettling feeling of “hollowness” settle over me. A phenomenum i later recognised as God nudging me in the area of my commitment to a consistent, daily fellowship with him. But about the time of my fall from cloud nine i had slipped into a dull routine. It was all beginning to be a bore and i had started loosing ground and focus. Love-wrecked however, i turned to God again and together, God and i found the way back to solid ground. On the sturdy steps of a rejuvenated relationship with God, my shaken sense of self was centered again and i quickly regained my elasticity (the ability of a thing to return quickly to it’s original shape and size after being bent, stretched or squashed) and pulled back tautly into form. Incidentally too at that time, i miraculously encountered Joel Osteen in his book- “Your best life now”. I know that book was well timed to my exact need of it by the author and orchestrator of love Himself. He loves me so! My awe of God’s timing was heightened when i observed that i would just be experiencing a withdrawal symptom, when the chapter i was reading would be teaching on how to cope with the SPECIFIC thing i was dealing with! I have never before seen that type of synchronicity between real life and a book, but as i concluded chapter after chapter of that book, i literally closed chapters of what has now become a retreating past. This was also when i started journaling the lessons from my daily devotions and curiously, there seems to have been an outstanding theme in all the messages i’d been receiving- messages very relevant to what i was going through. I’d love to share what i’ve been learning but i’ll save that for another post.

Counting blessings; Listing lessons.

One of the things i’m very thankful to God for this year, are ideas. I’ve had so many ideas i’m excited about, ones i think are brilliant. My mind has been alive with them and alert to insights dropped into my very thoughts at odd moments. One of my ideas was to send my article to TRUE LOVE West Africa, it’s one of the articles i featured here in January this year. I was absolutely and pleasantly surprised when the article won a cash prize and was published in the prestigious magazine!

Yay!

So i’m thankful for i-d-e-a-s! I’m also thankful for the amount of information i’ve acquired in both physical and spiritual things. The bible defines a mature, well –rounded christian as someone who has spiritual understanding, see that in one of my fav scriptures of ’09:

“...don’t loose a minute in building on what you’ve been given, complementing your basic faith with good character, spiritual understanding, alert discipline, passionate patience, reverent wonder, warm friendliness, and generous love, each dimension fitting into and developing the others”. 2 Peter 1:5-8 The Message/Remix version.

When i found that verse a while ago, i fell in love with the prose. It paints with action words the picture of a seasoned child of God. There is a certain intrigue in the character these words describe, let me show you.

Our basic faith is our belief in the Lord Jesus Christ, first as our saviour ( saving us from a damned here and now and a damned hereafter as a direct consequence of sin) and as our Lord ( the one we offer our worship, service and whom we obey). But that’s not all there is to developing our christian status, that’s just the basic not the whole. In addition to being saved and church- going, we should develop good character. This has to do with our morals, integrity and behaivour. Then we should add to that spiritual understanding. This implies that we should acquire a deep, firm, well- founded and resolved understanding of spiritual things. As christians we should be knowledgeable about God, faith , healing, and unworldly things. We should not be left in the dark or be ignorant and unlearned in this area but we should know about them from the bible’s perspective. In addition to that we should develop alert, watchful discipline. This means we should apply a concious control over our lifestyles, values and beliefs. We should then add to that the quality of passionate patience. Isn’t that such a paradox? Patience is the ability to endure waiting or delay or provocation or unpleasant circumstances calmly without becoming angry or upset. And to be passionate in the most watered down, diluted sense means to be willing. So the quality of passionate patience adds up as being willing to endure something difficult with a calm attitude.

Do you already see how beautiful we could be if we were matured christians not just faith speaking, church going, empty ones? I was especially pleased and interested in the next quality.

We, christians are to develop into our persona, reverent wonder. We should develop the sixth sense of wonder. We should be able to see and recognise beauty, the miraculous and the lovely. Christians should exude the charm that comes from the ability to see that a basic beauty permeates things and people. Love for people comes from and is of God, a christian should abound with love for people, affection for others and exuberance about life. These fruits grow out of God’s love for and in us. Added to these traits, a seasoned christian should develop warm friendliness. That’s quite a contrast to our typical gruff, critical or even rude attitudes. People around you and around me should enjoy our warmth. Our friendliness should show itself as helpful, welcoming, tolerant and free of cutthroat competition or mean-spirited conniving. Finally a seasoned christian should show generous love. We should be big hearted, open handed people. Giving in time, in cash and in kind, substantial, sufficient and princely offerings of ourselves .

There aren’t many christians who are a combination of all these traits but the bible explains that each one of these qualities are essential to the development of our basic faith. Most christians stop at being saved, we need to grow. Seasoned with the spices of good character, spiritual understanding, passionate patience and alert discipline and sweetened with the flavours of reverent wonder, warm friendliness, generous love; we can attain the full stature and maturity of our christian transformation. Then will our profession of faith be worth savoring. Then will we be well cooked and suited to our Father’s palate.

Closing ceremony of ’09.

This isn’t my last post for the year but as the year counts down into another, for me the closing ceremony has begun. Part of the activities of my personal 2009 closing ceremony includes that i will be sitting back to count my blessings. This means i will think of every “remembrable” thing (pardon my French) that i’ve been blessed with or blessed to have and prepare a praise, an offering and a dance for the Lord to thank Him. The second thing i’m going to be doing is to go over the four journals i have written this year and review all i’ve learnt. I’ll be taking time off my bible and other books for a while and will use my journalized devotions during my quiet time. Finally i will take time to focus on the new year and be ready for her by the time she gets here. So let the count down begin! Oooooh i’m soooo excited!

I USED TO FEEL GUILTY WHEN I DIDN’T READ MY BIBLE BUT NOW I JUST DON’T.

2009-11-06T03:12:00.000+01:00

At the beginning of the year i had a wake up call. I had been playing hop, skip and jump in my personal bible study and prayer time and i experienced an unusual and uncomfortable feeling of emptiness inside me that i couldn’t bear to live with it. This persisted over a period of time until i realised it was God letting me experience the emptiness of a life without Him at the centre of it. I knew without being told that it had everything to do with the lack of consistency in my learning about God and his ways and in my training in being like Jesus who is the exact image of who God wants us to be. I also knew it wasn’t just a question of my not doing the ritual of “quiet time” or “daily devotion” or “personal altar” or whatever you might call it, i knew it was an issue bordering strongly on my attitude to God and the things of God. It was an issue of things like committment and faithfulness. Those are terms that come up when you’re in a relationship with someone you’re into and these are the qualities that take our experience of God out of impersonal routine into a real , tangible, results- to –show- for – it, relationship with the Living God. God will always match committment, faithfulness and obedience with passionate involvement but he barely tolerates reluctant, hot today; cold tommorow, once in a while, when i can, committment. It’s like a relationship between you and someone you love, their indifference to you would be worse than their outright rejection of you.

So i brushed up. I got my act together and stopped slacking like someone reading this should. I looked into all the reasons why i had been unable to maintain the discipline of devotions before and here is one; I didn’t have a plan to follow. The reason you hop, skip , jump on your devotions is because you don’t have a plan. If you rely on just opening your bible to some random page and reading whatever you see, it’s just as silly as preparing for an exam by guessing the pages and topics to read instead of reading the syllabus.

An example of a plan is one of these: Read the bible from start to finish in one year by reading a minimum of two chapters from the old and new testament each; Read the entire New testament in one year by reading at least two chapters a day; Read the entire old testament in one year by reading at least two chapters a day; Read selected books each month e.g study the life of Esther or Daniel; study all the books that chronicle the life of Jesus on earth- the gospels( Matthew, Mark, Luke and John); Read the books that deal with your attitudes or areas of weakness e.g the book of Proverbs that deals with issues like anger, talking before thinking, hard work or wisdom, the book of Hebrews to understand the free gift of salvation, the book of Timothy and Titus to understand what the bible says about you and your family, your spouse, your employers, the government and your church or read the bible by topics using a devotional, your bible index or a book that gives you selected reading over a certain period e.g The purpose driven life by Rick Warren. This is a very good book, please read it.

What Is Your Perception About The Bible?

The bible is not a book of stories, a book of histories, a religous book, a collection of psalms and proverbs, or “whachumacallit” , it is all of these and more. It is a library of resources for life, it is a guide that points the way to God, it is a friend that holds you accountable, it is a teacher of the very principles on which human endeavours thrive... not convinced? Tell me what you think it is and we’ll take it from there but for starters know that the bible is the truth about God and how he relates with you. If you question the authenticity of the bible and don’t believe it, i want to help you so write back, but this is what the bible says about it’s own authenticy - (2Timothy 3:16) All scripture is given by the inspiration of God; this is what we believe. If you see it as irrelevent to today, you probably have your good reasons, i want to hear them but know that your basic attitude to the bible limits your experience of what it says.

Back To The Basics.

Own your own copy of the bible. Buy a Version you like, one that appeals to your style and your person. Consider the size. Personalize your choice.

Set aside a convenient time to read it at the same time everyday, like brushing your teeth.

Take time to pray before you start, like saying grace before a meal. David in Psalms said ” Lord open my eyes to see the good things in your law”. He was one guy that was passionate about his daily devotions, he wrote all about it in the longest psalm of the collection. Ask God to settle you in a frame of mind that is peaceful. Ask him for undersanding. Ask him to help you not to reason contrary to what it says; have you ever thought you were right about something beyond any REASONABLE doubt and then found out that you were oh, so wrong? Ask him to give you a receptive mind.

Bite what you can chew. Value quality over quantity; a verse you understand and apply is better than an entire book you forget. Do a bit everyday. Think of reading your bible like the acts of eating and sleeping. We sleep only for a few hours of the day, everyday; we don’t sleep all our sleep time for life at once, so don’t do it all at once, you will go a long way by just reading a bit consistently and on a daily basis.

Learning Consistency.

If you are not a very disciplined person like me, this might be a long struggle for you but the success is in getting right back to it when you miss a day, a week or months. It’s natural to feel quilty about forgetting or outrightly refusing to read your bible but don’t let the Devil take advantage of your emotions and make you feel so guilty that you think you are a bad person or God is angry with you or you’re not going to be able to keep this up because you lack what it takes, e.t.c. Any feeling of guilt that makes you unable to read your bible is not from God. Guilt that makes you feel unhappy that you haven’t kept your committment but pushes you to do the right thing now that you’ve realised your mistake is healthy. Practice makes perfect so just keep doing it till you form a habit of it. To buttresse more on the importance of consistency, in the parable of the sower, the inconstant reader of the word is described as a person who is like rocky ground that when the seed of the word is sown into him, because it has no real roots, no depth, the crops dried up and whittered away. Only the consistent develop roots so go be a root LOL.

Getting The Most Out Of Reading Your Bible.

Try to grow beyond reading your bible just to satisfy your conscience. I remember those days in Sunday school when the teacher will go round the rows asking if we had read our bibles, some days my heart would just sink as i waited my turn. Grow beyond that type of bible reading motivated by fear of punishment or rebuke. Approach the bible like a student of it and like a student don’t read but study it. I’m going to tell you something that might surprise you but consider it thoughtfully and strive for it. You should have a notebook where you take down notes as you study your bible. It’s called SOAP.

S - Scripture: As you read the portion for the day, write down the verses that make sense to you in your notebook. The ones that strike a cord or gets your attention.

O- Observation: Concentrate. Reason. Think. What does what you have read mean? The measure of thought and study you give to the truth you hear or read will be the measure of benefit, information and knowledge that comes back to you.

A- Application: Think through an application of what you have read. This may require you to recall situations in the past and make comparison between the way you acted and the way you’ve just observed from the bible that you should act. Replay the scenerio and reason out how you would act next time. Your premeditated course of action about a hypothetical situation or one that occurred in the past will help you be a better doer of the word if you have to face it in future. You may also see in your bible things you should do, write them down and make a commitment to do them. Best of all, you might see things you didn’t know before, write these new lessons down. God will be speaking to you through them. After a while when you go over all you’ve been learning, you might find a re-occurring topic or theme God is trying to teach you about.

P- Prayer: When you pray, thank God for showing you what He needed you to see. Ask him to help you apply what you’ve learnt in real life, also ask him to help you remember what you have read when you need it.

What To Do When You Don’t Understand What You Are Reading.

Don’t get discouraged, read till you can pick out something you’ve learnt or understood. You might also want to consider using a daily devotional which not only gives you a bible reading plan but also explains the passages you have read. When you use a devotional, don’t just read the story or write up in the devotional without checking out the verses yourself, God will speak to you every time you pick up his word. Devotionals you can use include: Everyday with Jesus, Inspiring women, Daily manna, Our daily bread, The word for today, Rhapsody of realities, there are a lot more out there. Again choose one that suits your style, the goal is not for you to rely so much on a devotional that you cannot read your bible without one. Look up devotionals online too but please have someone recommend a good one to you, you don’t want to find out that you’re reading a devotional by the church of Satan!!!
www.lifejournal.cc is one you can try.

A final word.
The blessing in reading your bible is in doing what you learn, you are blessed in the doing not in the reading or hearing. One reason we do not do the word even though we hear it is that we forget. The bible likens that to someone who looks in the mirror, sees how fly he looks then leaves his house and completely forgets who he is, dumb yeah? The bible calls us heedless listeners who forget when we act like that but we should grow into active doers who obey. Just remember that the taste of the blessing is in the doing. Have i helped you in any new way? Let me know how. Enjoy your devotions!

MUM, I’M NOT YOUR BABY!

2009-10-19T21:31:00.000+01:00

Food for the soul.

Today i had an absolutely wonderful time sharing my life with my girlfriends. It rubbed my heart, touched my sense of person and it not only left me with a deep feeling of fulfillment, but also gave me an even deeper sense of gratitude for the gift of having each other. The time with my girls was worth a day of my life. We share a history of life experiences, each one stored in the treasure chest of our hearts and as we sat together for hours and hours, totally oblivious of time and place, we took out memory after memory, and cherished them like precious jewels. I prized our friendship even more as we recounted it’s length and it’s rewards. I hallowed the bond formed and forged from laughter loaned and tears borrowed. A bond of sacred sisterhood; legitimate by loyalty, thick as blood. At the end of the day, i observed the healthy glow of my face in the mirror and laughed in meriment; half child, half girl! My smile was a rosette of joy, happiness and heartfelt delight. I was exuding that quality of peace in oneself that flows out of being at peace with others. It was a big high for me. It filled my emotional tank. I had experienced with kindred spirits the wisdom of God in making friends!

Erhm, did i mention that it was wonderful?

MUM! I’m Not Your Baby!

I and my mum speak to each other at least once everyday so when recently she started calling me two, three or four times in the day, i didn’t need a louder signal than that to recognise she wanted me around. So i packed my bags and headed home hoping i was making a good decision and that whatever i would be putting on hold or in second place would wait for me. Once home it was quite surprising how i quickly eased into my old ways. I still preffered to read and write seated on my old bed rather than use a table, i still found it hard to leave the house and i still loved my bed. The rewards of being back were peace and quiet, regular and healthy food, longer hours of sleep, sessions in front of the tube plus i got to dodge house work in the name of seniority, i mean if it was unpleasant or inconvenient, i remembered i was the senior! I thoroughly maximised the moment for i knew that the moro cometh when i would lust for my independence again.

Isn’t it puzzling that no matter how old we grow our parents still see us as their babies. When we are young the relationship we have with them is uncomplicated. In fact we learn early in life the way we relate to our parents, we are conditioned by nature and habituated by their nurturing to play the role of a child. But as we grow older and change, the relationship also changes and our roles evolve along entirely different lines. Perhaps unfortunately, no one teaches us how to manage the different facets it metamorphosis into and we are forced to figure it out by ourselves. It is at this point that fathers loose their sons and daughters hate their mothers. This is not the picture God had in mind for our relationships with our parents. That’s a malfunction of the design that was intended by the manufacturer. God’s actual picture is one of peace and harmony between parents and children. The bible says it’s a good and pleasant thing for brethren- members of the same family, to dwell together in harmony and that it is within that type of unity that he commands his blessings.

During our teenage years we start to develop our own views about life. We tend towards the opinion of our peers more in the interest of solidarity than by the force of individuality. It is at this age we begin to test theories and experiment with convictions. We start to disagree with our parents and resent the imposition of their standards on us. We hold waring opinions on what to wear, where to go, what time to stay out, which course to study, whom to date e.t.c and if it is not handled properly it often ends in a battle of wills where the one party who wins the battle, looses the war. Consequently, the emotional umbilical cord from parent to child is yanked off and we never regain the level of intimacy, trust, respect and even love we shared with our parents in our early years.

As we mature, that cord of love is further tested by our transition into adulthood. Our parents struggle to accept that we have grown and they fight to hold on to the level of control they used to have but this makes us shift even further from them as we struggle for independence and strive to shake off their influence and control. They want to be relevant in our decisions but we often assert our independence and maturity by taking decisions on our own or ignoring their advice. Our financial dependence is the last of our dependencies we grow out of and from there on we are our own. It seems we don’t need them anymore. Worse, as our parents grow older we notice their flaws, we judge their results, we criticise their choices, we blame them for their failures and even ours. In the end all that is left is over used courtesy and distant respect. The gulf all but widens until there is no hope for any intimacy with them. Our heros who though at one time faced the world with brazen confidence, suddenly contract a disturbing fear of it. They become intimidated by rapid changes they have not caught on with or distressed by thoughts of the future and as their hands grow frail on the reins of life, ours attain mastery of it. The wheels have turned. It is at this point that the child becomes the parent and vice versa and they may need to depend on us for emotional, mental and financial support.

And although we have played our role of being our parent’s children by force of habit in our developing years, as the circle turns and we earn our independence, we must rely on a greater force to keep the balance in the evolved relationships with our nearest and dearest- Love. Love makes the effort to involve them and make them feel relevant, respected, loved and valued. We may have to rediscover them, we may have to resist the pull of our busy lives to keep in touch with them, maybe even take an interest in something they love and make it our thing just to get along. And even though we now know that they are far from perfect and may get on our nerves from time to time, we have to find common ground to walk with them on.

I miss mine just writing this and i think i’ll just stop here and make a quick phone call eh?

A moment in the mirror

2009-08-29T21:22:00.001+01:00

I was innocently making up this morning, just minding my beauty business. I was absent minded; giving no actual thought to the motions just creating the desired strokes by habit. One more dab of powder on my left cheek and i paused to see if i had done enough and that was when i really noticed me in the mirror. I must have been staring at my face the whole time but it was in that split second i really saw myself. I saw my fair, smooth skin that was alive with it’s own vibrance. I could see that the powder i had been rubbing on to it could neither hide it’s shine nor take credit for it’s glow. My eyes took in my side view quite like any observer, only in this case my attention was commanded by my own beauty, i mean beauty that is mine, that is a part of me... i was only looking.

I saw that the face in the mirror was oblong , i thought it was the right fit for a face with a discernible forehead and a long chin. I noticed the black hair starting at the front of my head and tilted my face sideways to see it end at the nape of my neck. Pulled back in a chignon it looked just like me. I saw that it was good. I smiled. My words took the admiration of my thoughts and escaped my lips with them:“ See this fine girl”, i said, as much in estatic surprise as in proud delight. It was mine; the face, the moment, the feeling. I may never remember those few minutes again but i don’t want to forget what they left me. They say beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder. If i am the beholder, i am beautiful.

Between Joel Osteen, God and me!

So i’m reading this book by Joel Osteen called “Your best life now”. I love books. A great book is like a great friend.And so when I wasn’t feeling very tall inside recently, i knew i only needed to find the right book and i’d be fine. I just didn’t know what book i was looking for.

While i was in the middle of this thought process, i came across a copy of “Your best life now” that belonged to someone else. I flicked through the pages and was engaged by the parts of it i could speed-read. I knew it was just what i needed only after a few minutes of perusal. I couldn’t borrow the copy i saw but the thought of stealing it certainly crossed my mind. Sadly, i and the book parted ways and i wished i’d either find a copy to buy or get it as a gift just as soon as i could find the right person to give a carefully deviced hint! I had to have that book.

That same day i went for my bible study meeting and somewhere between the praying, studying the word and catching up with friends , i soon forgot all about Joel Osteen or his book that i had to have! As the meeting ended and i was about to tow my tired body home, i was informed that there would be another short meeting i was to be part of! One of those fellowships after fellowship! I took a long, longing look at the door , envying those i could see making their way through it, before commanding myself in the opposite direction for this second meeting.

Once there i felt guilty about my reluctance because it was a surprise celebration of belated birthdays for some of us in attendance.There was a cake, drinks and wrapped gifts. I quickly warmed up to the mood. I received a gift, grabbed some cake and played along when they sang “happy birthday” and prayed for us. I mean, if God wanted to recreate my birthday experience a whole month after the actual date, i wasn’t going to mind!

The others who didn’t get gifts were curious to know what the rest of us had been given. “Open it” someone said motioning at me. I tried to feel it to figure out what it was. “it’s a book”, i replied hoping my response would do. I wasn’t interested in opening it just yet. Then it hit me. “What if it’s Joel Osteen’s book?”

Nah! I dismissed the thought.

“It couldn’t be. How would that happen anyway? Afterall, i only wished for it this afternoon and that was just a few hours ago. Besides there was no time to even pray for it to happen. You know how you have to bug God about it or work hard at worrying about how it would come, then pout that it hadn’t and finally grumble about it until God took the hint and gave you just to shut you up! How could i get the book just like that?”

“Nah”, i concluded again. And to prove it, i peered through the wrapping paper and saw the letters: T-i-m. “That settles it”. I decided. “It’s just some book by Tim Lahaye. See!”

“Let’s see what you got”.

The voice came from behind me. I acquiesced and started to unwrap my Tim Lahaye book from one corner. As i peeled off the wrapping paper, i caught a picture of Joel Osteen on the cover! My eyes widdened in complete, honest- to –God surprise and grew bigger when i read the words on the cover: ” Your best life now”. I screamed. I looked for Tim’s name and saw that the words where- New york TIMes bestseller! The voice behind me spoke again;

“It’s a book”.

This time i wheeled around to face it’s owner shaking my head, desperate for understanding. “You don’t understand”, I insisted. “It’s the book. Just this afternoon, i wished i could have this exact book and i get here and you guys present it to me without ever knowing what i wanted!”

I was blown away by God and i kept screaming out the holler conceived in my inside the minute i saw my surprise. God knows how to blow your mind! I mean here i was trying to figure out what God had set up an abundant way to give me!!! Woow! Later when i told someone else, she narrated how she had been prompted to make a gift of the same book to her brother who unknown to her, had the day before, given it as a gift to somebody else when he really wanted it for himself!

I’m still on cloud nine from that experience and i just had to write about it... there!

And you call yourself a Christian? Of course...

2009-08-12T21:54:00.002+01:00

As i walk with God; as i develop and grow a relationship with him; as i learn the way he wants me to be in thought, action and motive and practice it; as i express my needs to him; asking him to do things in my life, in my relationships, in my world; as i submit my will to him, becoming agreeable to his desire for me ;and as i fellowship with other people allowing myself see God through their experiences and getting a richer picture of who he is; i am positioned to live an abundant and full life.

Everyday as i allow God in i see him make things work for me. My prayers are answered. For instance the important things that i really wanted say, in the past year? When i got to the point when i needed to get them, even when i did not qualify? I got them. All of them, the complete package, nothing missing, no detail omitted. I’m telling you the truth.

As i allow God a few hours of my time each day; as i allow him a little part of my money each month; as i allow him to guide and sometimes, no, most times pinch me and make me aware of how important the people i interact with daily are to him and how i can’t treat them like second class citizens, as i commit to several hours a week of church meetings which i find interesting, uplifting and educative ;there is an unmistakable turn around in the quality of my life. My point is i generally seem to master my complete role in life with God. I’m reaching higher and grabbing handfulls of a higher life.

I’m becoming a better person. My fears are not at the foreground; they recede in the background. My worries are less engaging, i turn them into prayers; self- centered behaivour is challenged. There’s just a sensor that alerts me to behaivour that is unfair towards another person. My accommodation and acceptance of people more; my suspicion and scrutiny less. It’s just more of the good everyday and less of the bad.

You know that kind of person who seems to get it all? God literally sets you up to be the kind of employee your boss wants to promote , the child your family wants to help along, the homie your friends want to stick up for, the spouse your partner wants to see succeed, the member your pastor/community leader/assocciation president is looking for an opportunity to help, the name or face a total stranger wants to assist... do you see?

A short excerpt explains better...

“It’s obvious what kind of life develops out of trying to get your own way all the time: repetitive, loveless, cheap sex, a stinking accummulation of mental and emotional garbage; frenzied and joyless grabs for happiness; trinket gods; magic show religion; paranoid loneliness; cutthroat competition, all- consuming –yet –never- satisfied wants; a brutal temper; an impotence to love and be loved; divided homes and divided lives; small – minded and lopsided pursuits; the vicious habit of depersonalizing everyone into a rival, uncontrolled and uncontrollable addictions; ugly parodies (poor imitations) of community/family/relationship... but what happens when we live God’s way? He brings gifts into our lives, much the same way that fruit appears in an orchard. Things like affection for others, exuberance about life, serenity. We develop a willingness to stick with things, a sense of compassion in the heart, and a conviction that a basic holiness permeates things and people. We find ourselves involved in loyal commitments, not needing to force our way in life, able to marshall and direct our energies wisely.”

My life is not perfect. I’m not perfect. But my life makes sense. It is full. It feels great. The future not only looks bright but it is. It isn’t waiting to happen, it is happening. When you do it his way in every area, you live in the flow where he commands things to be blessed, where he makes life abundant, where he nourishes dreams to grow, in the flow where he says YES. When you say yes to him and what he wants, you are saying yes to you and what you want.

Read your bible (get one), pray everyday, be in church, participate, be born again ( in simple english that means do what God tells you, live as he wants you to, give him his rights over you). It pays big time!

You already know what i’m talking about cos it’s been real for you? Then talk about it. Share all that good stuff! “... you are the one’s chosen by God, chosen for the high calling of priestly work( nothing heavy folks it just means being an amebo about God), chosen to be a holy people (yep yah heard right), God’s instruments to do his work and speak out for him, to tell others of the night- and- day difference he made for you – from nothing to something, from rejected to accepted.”

Well, so you are a christian eh?

THE NEW GIRL

2009-07-23T22:10:00.000+01:00

The year is halfway done or is it half way begone? (Half empty or half full?). God has been dealing with me in an awe- inspiring way and i have been counting my many blessings. There is just such a romance about how God helps us do what only HE can do for us. He must love us so.

Recently i was preparing to take a very tough exam and was told that 70% of the participants who sit for the exam fail it, to add to my apprehension i didn’t have enough time to thoroughly prepare for it. I would be so tired after work that studying at night was out of the question. I was really behind schedule. To make it worse, i didn’t get the time off i’d hoped for from my boss which just made it frustrating. One day, while i was complaining to a friend, she encouraged me to put in all the hours required of me at work and not complain that i wasn’t given the time off to study, she said God would see my faithfulness and bless the spare time i had to read. That was powerful for me because i was getting tempted to steal time off to do “my own thing” afterall “ “they” don’t care about me so why should i sacrifice my success for them” ; i selfishly thought. Her words were my salvation to stay on the high road. Another significant instance was when one day, while i was lamenting about the lack of time to study, some other friend said something that struck me, he said : “God sees your heart , just do your part and He will do his”. Wow! What did my heart have to do with acing my exam? Didn’t you just pass or fail depending on how well you studied or what you deserved? But it made perfect sense. I believe even when it has nothing to do with it, God cares about how we feel, and how badly we want something.

I took the exam and passed.

Yay!

It wasn’t because i read enough, it wasn’t because i had all the time in the world, it wasn’t because i was confident enough, it was because God blessed my little and made it enough. Praise God somebodey!!!

I maintain a grateful heart towards God for all the ways he has showed up for me this past six months. He has made it obvious that he is involved, engaged, interested in the details of my life. That just makes me feel blessed and hopeful. He’s interested in you too!

One other time, i wanted something (don’t ask what? Lol!) and i made out a list describing specifically what i wanted. It was amazing not just that i got it but also how things unfolded for me to have what i prayed for. So yeah, God is good.While i’m still cushioned in the bubble of gratitude, various testimonies passing through my mind, let me settle down to the real object of this post:

Heart atitude – the new girl!

Towards the end of last year i met a lovely young lady. She was introduced at work; she was the new girl! I didn’t have a problem with helping the new girl settle down, and get integrated into the office life afterall only a few months before i was a new comer myself.

(Besides i’m a nice person, a christian for that matter, it’s true!) Lol! (we’ll soon see).

Have you ever noticed the effect a new person has on a click of old friends? Old beefs are ressurected, levels of friendships may be restructured, the click within the click might be reformed, new sides to old friends revealed ...Well soon enough the hornet’s nest was stirred and the buzz was the new girl is this, the new girl is that... On a few occassions i was dragged into the conversation to give my opinion about her. I was tempted to add my own two cents worth of “pre- judgement”. I too wanted to take a good look at the competition and sniff for faults to tip the scale in her disfavour, maybe it would balance out my own areas of disadvantage and we’d all be even eh?

Love said not so!

I succeeded in keeping my observations to myself but the real temptation was not letting assumptions influence my acceptance of her or my behaivour towards her. I was honest to myself about what everyone was complaining about but i resolved not to see those things as weaknesses but to look out for her strengths and appreciate them. After a while things settled down, the new girl got used to the job, formed allies, won a few hearts , developed her own share of enemies... life went on and we soon forgot she was ever new. She became as old as our friendships, as comfortable as our furniture and if her flaws ever came up, they were waived off with a casual “ is it not so and so, that’s just the way she is ”or occassionally an honest “ nobody is perfect” gesture and it usually ended there.

The months wore on and the two of us developed an understanding friendship, special in its own way. One day in a vulnerable moment, we were talking about traits we appreciated in each other and she told me that there was a time in the office when another colleague was complaining about me.

What? Me? I try to be a good gurl!

YEAH RIGHT!

What did i do? Oh no!

Back to the story (Lol!)... apparently this colleague mistook my self -confidence for arrogance, and my friend who used to be the new girl admitted she was tempted at first to see arrogance in my actions but she realised that she really wasn’t holding that quality against me. She recognised that i was just being myself. As i sat there listening, i realised that the same way i had refused to see her negatively without ever telling her about my decision was the same way she had resolved not to judge me either. That was an eye opener. Reminds you of the golden rule to do unto others as you want them to do unto you or more precisely ; judge not and you shall not be judged. What goes around does come around, doesn’t it?

Ok, i have spilled a bit on this post. Hope you learnt something guys! Me? i'm counting my blessings...LOL

DAIRY OF AN UNLIKELY CHURCH GIRL...

2009-05-01T23:16:00.000+01:00

I am a proper church girl. Ok I admit it! For instance I try not to write very spiritual things but it comes out that way and I do try not to end a convo with a friend who maybe just shared with me a good thing that happened to her with a prayer of thanksgiving or a prayer for help when it’s a tale of woe but it’s become a natural response so much so that a friend shocked me today after I offered to pray for him over something. I concluded what I thought was a short prayer with an assured amen, when he, bemused replied : ” Pastor’s wife!” that jerked me right out of my holy cloud and I quickly pulled the halo of spiritual feelings off my head and hid it in embarrassment “ I’m not a pastors wife” I retorted but he had hung up laughing. I’ll still get him for that one! Him and Harris (Harris writes the articles for “hanging out with Harris” on my blog). He insists against my staunch resistance that I sound like one, so does girlfriend but that’s before I tackle her to the ground and try to physically get her to stop calling me that! What they see? I don’t know.

I don’t like the stereotype of being a “spiro” or the preachy type that makes your skin crawl every time you’re with them (those ones who when you’re around them just being yourself, want you to be perfect with your hair tucked in, straight-faced, speaking the right christianese in a pentecostal accent…lol) but truth be told, I enjoy church and I understand that environment very well. It’s an art and I call this piece the art of enjoying church. This one you have to read because it’s from the diary of an unlikely church girl.

THE ART OF ENJOYING CHURCH
I was at my cousins wedding almost a month ago and it was beautiful. The blushing bride was serenaded by her happy groom. You see he had come upon this idea to sing for his princess (and she was looking every bit like one) but someone should have advised him to save the best for the last or more accurately for a private concert only for his new wife but he bravely sang his heart and voice out oblivious to the tune, riding on pitches even the best in the industry fear to climb! It was a hearty rendition and we all helped the song along amid appreciative gales of laughter! It was a moment to remember. I enjoyed it and the many other magical moments that are possible in an atmosphere of goodwill mixed with some romance. I enjoyed them all because I let the atmosphere take over.

1. The first step towards enjoying church is cooperating with the atmosphere.

Let it steal you away for a moment. Don’t worry about the person next to you. Don’t wonder if they are lifting up their holy hands because they’ showing off their expensive jewelry, don’t be concerned that the person next to you might be the “agent” in your midst ( if God didn’t show you then you shouldn’t be concerned about it), don’t be suspicious of everybody smiling like they’re angels when by your calculations you are almost sure they’re terrors waiting to show their true colors, don’t wonder how to get the attention of the impeccably attired tall, dark and handsome who looks like his Armani suit was glued to him, or the hot legs wrapped in shimmery shine looking like a model off the pages of Vogue. Just plug into the moment and see it through appreciative eyes. See what’s to laugh about, what’s to sing about, what’s to reflect on.

2. Make friends.

Ask someone his name. Tell someone they look nice. Ask them where they work. Pick an interest in another person. You’ll always look forward to it if you know people there and know you’ll be seeing them again. I, for one, look forward to the “fellowship after fellowship”, that’s the time to catch up on friends I didn’t see during the week, greet the mothers and compliment their clothes and jewelry (they always ask you when you’re getting married and tease you about “the broda”) and mix up generally.

3. Be on time and participate.

There’s just something about coming late for any event that saps the juice out of your enjoyment of your first few minutes there. You feel you’re creating unnecessary attention and it takes you some minutes to defiantly return or ignore every accusing stare thrown your way. Plus it costs you another extra few minutes to settle in.

Participate. The easiest way to tell someone who’s not “getting blessed” is when you spot the aloof and “stand- offish” one who sits by themselves. They try not to get their impeccable clothes squeezed so they don’t dance too much only offering an occasional swing from side to side. They usually say very little and of course, they tend to look slightly upset at their neighbor who is dancing like there is no tomorrow wondering what is wrong with them! Lighten up and go with the flow. Wherever the mood takes you, if it’s God then it’s good. Also if you have a flair for an area in church, help out. There are always benefits and it’s the only place you get to learn your art and hone your skills for free!

4. Don’t bad mouth your church and don’t expect perfection.

The first tell tale sign that a person is likely to leave their job, a relationship or church is their complaints and constant critism of it. Yes, there are lapses you admit to but don’t go on and on rehearsing faults in your church. There’s no perfect church. The music may be great but not the delivery of the message or vice versa but don’t let that stop you. I find that it’s those unplanned slips in the service that make it a little less boring so enjoy them all, good and bad.

Ok Nike, time to go. Er, whatever you do this Sunday; Enjoy church!

Hanging out with HARRIS

2009-02-23T20:21:00.000+01:00

I met a very business savvy young lady today. "She's very enterprising" i thought to myself... she had a mega watt smile and an enthusiastic pitch in her voice and it was just the cherry on the cake that as young as she was she was holding her own with a thriving business. "Hanging out with HARRIS" this month is about managing your business as a young person with the right amount of exurberance and a good measure of seasoned wisdom. Yessir! it's a good one!By the way, how was valentine's day?

BUSINESS for BEGINNERS
It’s a Great day!
It’s the month of February, the love month. With the months ticking away, and the rest pregnant with immense possibilities, I thought it would be nice to share certain tips to guarantee your business success in 2009.

As young people, we’re prone to adrenaline rushes of great ideas, “instant millionaire schemes”…certain to make us the “next BIG thing”, but after a while, the flame flickers, dies or if we’re lucky, we carry on as planned, only to incur massive debt, regret and lots of “had I knowns”.

So what must you do to hit your ultimate business goal in ’08? Well, I’m glad you asked.

There are 3 basic rules of business success:

Dream BIG:

You are the only limit to your imagination. Ask yourself, “What would I achieve if I could NOT fail” and then write it down. Visualize your dream, because you cannot feature in a future that you do not picture! What do you see? Look at your feet, what do you notice? They are pointed in the direction of your vision. That means, as long as your eyes can see it, your feet will take you there! So dream BIG.
As long as Peter kept his eyes on Jesus, his feet walked on water’ but as soon as he “considered (meditated on) the waves, he took his eyes off his picture (Jesus) and put his eyes on the water, what happened? He began to sink. What are your eyes focused on?

START small:
As lofty and impressive as the oak tree is, it didn’t just appear as a full grown tree, it began as a seed. Every great dream or business began as a seed. Take time out to count the cost. Ask yourself, “what is my business?”, “who are my customers?”, “how much do they earn?”, “where are they located?”, “I am the solution, what is their problem?” etc. Answer those questions.

Next, you’ve got to find a mentor who is the best in the field you wish to flourish in and SERVE him. Humble yourself to learn from the best.
When I decided to become one of the world’s most sought after speakers and management consultants, I went to serve (for free, I might add), a man whom I recognized as the leader in both fields, Fela Durotoye. 3 years on, I’m still serving (getting paid…very well, I might add) and my present’s brighter than I ever imagined. Because he is a picture of my future, and I’m privileged to stand on the shoulders of a giant, guess what happens?… I stand tall.

These days, I get the privilege to speak on behalf of and with Fela Durotoye at some incredible events, why? Because he’s trained me and trusts that I would deliver just as he would.
Too many young people want to be their own boss, but think that serving someone is a waste of time. Experience is NOT the best teacher; other people’s experience is the best teacher!Don’t argue, start small, get a mentor.
To be the best, you gotta learn from the best.

Grow FAST:
Once you’ve learned the secrets and tools of the trade, you’ve gotta grow fast. To do this, there are 4 principles:

• Make more money:
people don’t buy products, they buy solutions!

• Save more money:
you’ve got to make it easy for your customers to get value for the solutions you provide.

• Grow your market share:
increase the reach and range of your business.

• Grow your brand:
you’ve gotta be known as a solution to ONE thing. e.g. Basketball (Jordan), Golf (Tiger Woods), Free Kicks (Beckham), Computers (Bill Gates)

Question is, what ONE thing will you be known for? Find it and master it!

I’m certain that as you apply these principles, you will have a fiscally fulfilling, 2009.
What are you waiting for?
Your future starts NOW!

SteveHARRIS is the Head, Consulting Group of Visible Impact Limited; a highly sought after motivational / inspirational, business speaker and strategist.
steveharris@visibleimpact.com.ng

and I felt a hole in my soul...aaghhh it was scarry!

2009-02-11T10:05:00.000+01:00

At the beginning of this year something weird happened. I would wake up in the morning just feeling empty. Let me explain. I would feel like there was a hole right inside me. It was the first feeling of awareness that would hit me when i stirred awake. It was scarry but it was there. Something felt missing . It was so bad that after work i dreaded the idea of coming home where the volume of activity would be turned down and without the noise i would be forced to face the “hollowness”! It was not normal and i hoped it would go away. What worried me the most was that hollow spaces have the capacity to attract whatever would fill them and i was unsettled by the thought that this void would find a way to fill itself with something whether it was of my own choosing or not.

The first time i wrote about it was in the omonaikee diaries. My entry on the 7th of January in my journal sounded melancholy where i said;

” Yesterday on my way up the stairs i remembered i was going back to that feeling and suddenly didn’t want to stay at home. This has got to stop... i dont know what it is... i dont like how i feel”.

It was only a week ago i realised what my experience meant and i’ve shared it with a small group of fifteen people since then. Because i’ve told already i feel a little less burdened by it’s message but i’m making the effort to muster the words to retell it here; salvaging every emotion i experienced then from the depths of memory. I have never felt such intense emptiness before! I realise now that God let me feel for a minute in time the void inside me that he fills. The prelude to this account is that i had been studying my bible and while being an act of obedience i wasn’t doing it consistently. In Rick warren’s the purpose driven life he talks about complete and exact obedience. He says “often we try to offer God partial obedience” and God was teaching me that, that cheap way and cheat way of obeying him would not fly anymore.

I had also been praying everyday but not commitedly. Some days it would be a two minute mumble just before i stepped out of the door in which case i’d be one foot outside before some fearful thought would make me scoop my legs off the hallway and retrace them hurriedly into my room to bribe God with a minute of my attention in exchange for a safe and sane day( God de suffer o!). Other days i would pray with a wandering mind and my prayers would trail off into my agenda and plans for the day.Then there would come the ‘fired up on the mountain” days when i would pray till my heart’s peace. My spirit man must have been constipated! Those are not the kind of prayer and bible study habits that would make God entrust you with anything let alone his presence and he stepped back for a whole month and let me feel what he fills. I dont ever want to feel like that again! EVER!

He let me feel first hand the effect of my inconsistent fellowship with him. I felt like He was saying: “Nike your inconsistent bible study wont cut it anymore, your shoddy 5 minute prayers i won”t take anymore. If you want me in your life then step up ”. He may be saying the same thing to you.

“Take more responsibility son, step up, come hither!”

My altar lacked order. I didn’t have a compass to direct my bible reading and for someone who was reading four chapters of the bible a day at age 8 , i should know you need a study plan to help you master inconsistency. I’m going to share some tips from my discipleship training school classes on bible study, they were a checklist for me to work my way back into the seeking most and seeking first the kingdom.

1.Ask God in prayer to open your eyes to see in your bible practical things that make sense to you.
2.Get a bible you understand or like.
Suggestions : The best bible version to choose is the one you understand. The New living version adds simplicity to every verse, it’s like reading your friends journal; The Goodnews version is down to earth; The Amplified version is like reading prose or poetry, it’s lyrical and you pause to marvel at the “phraseology”; The message bible is like being in a radical, charismatic ,christian youth camp. In the pages you can almost see a crazy youth pastor reading it to you with his tinted corn rows and his jeans and Ts probably sporting a crazy slogan like God rocks, if you dont think so you suck!!!.LOL. I just got one and it’s a good reference bible.
3. Find the right tme and place and keep a date every morning.
4. Have a plan. A bible reading plan helps. A daily devotional can do a lot to keep you from wandering aimlessly through a blur of chapters. A prayer plan helps too. A good heuristic is thank him –praise him- ask him- thank him again.
5.Expect to hear from God and keep pen and paper ready to put down the valuable insights He shows you.
6. Do and tell. Do what the bible says and tell somebody else about what God is doing in your life.

Now back to the story. A few days ago, again from the pages of my journal , i wrote :

” this morning i woke up with a desire to do my devotions on my mind. I couldn’t wait to get down to it! Just the awareness of that special feeling was a delight to my soul...”

Once again like i recorded in “memoirs of a different kind” (in my post titled: ”who let the girls out” posted on the 17th of december here), I feel restored back into God’s favour and tended by His approval. I pray for everyone reading this who walks around feeling “hollow” . Pick up from where you left off, commit to a time and keep it. Fashion a bible study plan and work it. Nothing may happen at first but keep at it and that very act of faith will create, enlarge and expand room in your heart for God to live in and room in your mind for his word to fill. When you give him room in your time you’re giving him room in your life.

PS
I usually don’t like sounding spiritual, it’s a social risk i tell ya!Plus i would usually run from them preachy types hmmmmnnn, Hope you endured it though! Mwah!

Picking a man is like shopping for a dress!

2009-01-27T21:45:00.007+01:00

I always say picking a man is like buying an item of clothing. You walk into a store that has rows and rows of clothes in every size, style, fabric and colour. Each one sporting it’s own price tag. Each one creating a unique interaction with your feelings. Then there’s the shop assistant, armed and at the ready to sell you anything and everything your fluttering eyes repose on. But with years of shopping and of hearing remarks from your friends and foes, and with those indelible memories of previous wardrobe accidents , your practiced instincts remind you of your specs and you keep to form, buying only what fits your build,matches your emotional disposition and accentuates your gifts(hmmm!). At that point you’re a buyer who knows what you want. You just go for it when you see it.You know what fits you.

It’s the same science really whether you’re shopping for a man or a cute number. No offense guys but that’s the way i see it. I just hope y’all will indulge me while i explore the thought. There’s always a dress in the shop that is meant for you. That one that you think to yourself after you’ve snagged it: “what a find!".It looks right, fits right and feeeeels right!

I actually related the same analogy to one of my platonic boyfriends . Boy, it sparked good conversation! We had been trading stories and the conversation steered itself to shirts, well in his case, dresses and other prospecting merchandise( now i’m about to get into trouble). The question was; if you know your shirt and he (sorry it) doesn’t notice you, would you go for it? You know what i said? I said why not? (OMG girl, that was said like a big spender!). Now I know what they say about finding and being found and i totally agree BUT i’m only saying if it gives a perfect fit, and it’s hanging idly and unclaimed in that store paying you none to minimal attention, then get into it’s space or at least ask the shop keeper about it! Hallelujah!

I know GF(girl friend) is going to kill me when she reads this but will someone let me tell it as it is?

“if it’s yours it will come to you” ,

that’s true but ain’t nothing wrong with helping it along! Can i get a witness! You might want to get your charm on, smile some and shine teeth!(Nike, you’re totally shameless!).Erhm, somebody stop me before i get into more trouble!

A word of caution. Slow and subtle wins the race here cos you don’t want the shirt to know prematurely ( might ruin the negotiation!).The first commandment is don’t get caught trying.The second commandment is don’t take another sistas shirt.(Why would you do that? What’s wrong with you?).

I should warn you too that there’s the kind of shirt to pass up on. Those stiff- necked and stuffy shirts, all starched up and aloof, so emotionally wound up tight that the coyest smile would fall flat in thin air before it got through! Lord help the sista who falls for that kind of shirt. Armed so it can’t be disarmed! Lordavmarcy!!! There’s also the slacked shirt. It’s the “slacker” brand of T-shirts. If you have a taste for them you probably always find yourself stuck between the friend zone and the promised land of romantic bliss. It’s a yo-yo relationship but that’s for another day.

One more thing. An experienced shopper goes for the best buy at the right price. Neither overrated and pricey nor undervalued and cheap! I always feel a lift after a day of shopping when i’m taking home the bounty knowing it was the best buy and i got it at the best price. I feel proud it's money well spent. Mmmhh just talking about it puts me in the mode for shopping (don’t ask what i’ll be shopping for!). Lastly, while an experienced shopper has a knack for picking the shirt that makes her look like a million dollars in it, it is an expert shopper who makes the shirt think she never had an eye on it in the first place!(Chuckles).

Don’t ask me if i’m talking from experience, I already feel like i confessed to a hideous crime on this post! Ah, the things i do for writing a good piece! Hope you enjoyed it.So long!

P.S
What would you do to get the attention of a dress or shirt who doesn’t know you exist?

2009-01-03T03:17:00.000+01:00

2000&mine

We made it. It’s the year 2009 baby! Another year newly opened and we have all been ushered through it. A fertile year to sow with the promise that we will be fruitful! A fresh alotment of time! Another 365 days! Somebody say this to yourself: “Whatever i missed in 2000 and great will be mine in 2000 and mine”. Amen to that. Let it be so indeed!

This year i’ve made some commitments to God. I had such a blast experiencing him last year i want more, so i’m taking a step closer. I pray that God would place such a desire for His presence in your life this year that you’d marvel at yourself... you know how you used to turn a suspicious eye on those people who always seem to be God this and God that.. .well get ready, you just got biten by that bug! (LOL!)

Happy new year... then the shofar blew!

As the curtains of 2008 were drawing to a close, i searched in the layers of my heart trying to guage the faintest feelings, premonitions, impressions e.t.c. My radar didn’t catch any feelings of consequence about the year so i abandoned feeling my way through. Then i looked out for some kind of prompting in my spirit, some sixth- sense, in- your- gut feeling of what the year would be but the problem was there was no time. No room to focus, no quietude to retreat to and it was almost 2009! By the last day of the year and of my quest i’d given up on “trying” and was only hoping to steal some time to at least process and file away the themed and random thoughts piling in my mind and lay out all my hopes before God for 2009. I took solace in that. I was prepared.

Cross over night was going to be in church by habit. It had always been so would continue to be. Even when i caught wind of parties that promised to be too hot to miss, i dismissed them without much thought. At 10pm, i dragged my sleepy body to church still half surprised that i had actually gone to work on new year’s eve. Once there, the music and the expectant atmospere took over and i gyrated along. Very meaningful prayers were made for different groups of people and when the cordinator raised a prayer for the youths i stood in agreement under it’s covering. The rest of the night was spent in activities but everyone anticipated the final minutes that would birth the new year. At the opportune time, the leader came up to explain the special way in which the year would be welcomed into this world. She refferred to the time in Isreal when the Medianites oppressed Isreal and God won them a great victory with only 300 men blowing on ram horn trumpets called shofars. She said we were going to usher God’s presence into the year to the sound of the shofars. I took the ritual in with excitement that i was experiencing something both unique and new. So we enshrouded the year with God’s presence and escorted the first breaths of the newly born year with the blast of the shofars. At the last blast we let out a loud shout for God has given us victory in 2009. What a powerfully symbolic countdown it was?

New year resolutions

Are they still common practice? What are the most silly ones you’ve ever made? I stopped making them a long time ago, but i keep goals as benchmarks i want to achieve every year, one of them is updating this blog more frequently....well folks do have a fruitful year!

PS
January’s edition of “Hanging out with Harris” is coming soon. You don’t want to miss it! Stay logged on to this site!

Who let the girls out?

2008-12-18T06:58:00.000+01:00

Monday was quite a reunion with two of my girlfriends. We hadn’t been a complete trio like that in a long, long time. It was an unexpected stroke of goodluck that brought us together in one city at the same time and as we giggled and cackled all over each other, we knew we were going to make the most of it before we had to pack our bags and split again. So we sat down to catch up and it was like reliving together the experiences we had while apart. By the end of the day, we had satisfied some girl- deep psychological/ emotional need to rejuvenate our bond which distance had strained and reassure the doubts that absence tends to create. What did we talk about ? Boys mostly. Who we’d met for love, who we’d met for friendship and who we shouldn’t have met at all (not you silly!). Everyone took turns being grilled on the hot seat . Occasionally someone would assume the role of mother hen, disapproving of a confessed tryst till the culprit yelled desperate for understanding “let me tell it as it is!” then we would laugh and back off as explanations tumbled out. We moved on to important matters: scrutinizing each others make- up bags! What was good, what was new and who had stepped up their game. We didn’t miss the changes we saw in each other either.Who got rounder and where? Guys, you’ve got to laugh at the things girls are wired to enjoy! You just might be thoroughly amused or completely embarrassed in their company.You never know what would come flying out their mouths, past your unsuspecting ears! Heaven deliver us!!!

MEMOIRS...of a different kind

The year is coming to a fulfilling end and as i look back i’m excited to see how far i’ve come.God let me leap and bound over many hurdles with ease. Before the year began i had passionately declared that in 2008, the bible would influence me more than anything else. I also acquired an amplified version of it to add to my collection of bibles(I love the shades of meaning it adds to everything) . Surprisingly, this year i had a number of both significant and outstanding experiences that made me happy i made that decision. Let me explain...

I was constantly and consistently pondering over the meaning of large portions of scripture i selected from the bible. I would read a complete thought and hold it in my mind long enough to explore every angle of sense it made to me before moving on to the next line. During that period i was doing this i noticed somethings. I have this phobia for very loud sounds like thunder or the drowning noise of a plane flying really low and i would be gripped with fear however momentarily when this occurred. During this period i noticed that i stopped responding to the panic that would normally grip me and when i heard loud noises i didn’t even remember to associate them to danger.I was immune and there wasn’t the slightest trace of anxiety in me at all. The second experience had to do with anger. If you’ve ever been really mad at someone then you’d realise its very difficult to be angry and sin not. Sin in this case might mean berating the other person or being very spiteful and mean because you feel anger. I was in a situation once were i was very angry at something a loved one did which i needed to confront. The other person got very defensive and soon i felt angrier trying to make my point but inside there was an inner restraint that kept a guard on my lips and the rising anger didn’t control the words i chose or the situation. As soon as it was over i was able to flow back into a pleasant and sweet disposition as if nothing had happened. No anger left over! The last experience i will share was one in which at that period in time it was as if God had my back completely; things just worked out. In one instance i was in an uncomfortable position and i just wished to myself that such and such would happen and just as it occurred to me to pray to God that he would make it happen, it just happened. Even before the words could escape out of my lips. These are memoirs of a different kind indeed but i feel God made me experience them to authenticate the power in his word to me. Has it happened to you?Do tell.

I wish you a CHERRY christmas and a HEARTY new year!

The excitement of christmas is contagious. Everything about the season tells you to be of good cheer. From the break from work to the christmas bonus and then the bold reds , greens and golds attacking you on every corner ; there’s something to be cheerful about this season. I feel christmas crowns the year. Once the celebrating and felicitating grudgingly comes to an end, the realisation that another year has come sets in and every one faces the approaching year with more serious thoughts and some firm decision making. I always prefer to be deliberate about entering into a new year. I like to be in a place spiritually where i’m sensitive to the things God impresses on my heart about the approaching year. So i prepare my heart to hear. Last year i did a three day fast over the last three days of 2007 and into the new year. In that mood/state of mind/ heart atitude i was attracted to a verse of scripture that set the tone for my life style this year.Truth is i did many things this year that were motivated out of an effort to be close to God and be on point with him and that wasn’t all me ! What i am going to do this year remains to be written, maybe next christmas but till then have a cherry christmas and a hearty new year!

Hanging out with HARRIS

2008-11-26T23:10:00.000+01:00

I celebrate every young person demanding more of themselves than just what is required.Greatness really isn’t far from that! I read the story of an amazing 24 year old, young woman today. Uche Eze is the cyber celebrity behind the fashion and entertainment blog called bella naija. Her blog provides information on events and happenings in Nigeria for Nigerians, home and abroad. I admire the way she has created a very strong brand presence within the Nigerian internet community simply by chronicling about her interests. She is the undisputable queen of blogsville! Everyone can put pen to paper or give an opinion about anything but for Uche, passion brings it together and makes it more than just that. For this young and beautiful, fashion is more than something to see or have, it’s something to be part of! Literarily, something to write home about! That’s what Co-author Steve Harris talks about today in a very easy-to-read piece (bless his generous heart!). It's about finding your natural habitat. I totally loved it. Enjoy!

FINDING your Natural Habitat

It’s a great day!

Today, I’d like to share secrets to what I call “Finding Your Natural Habitat”.
Every creature created by God has a natural habitat where it functions to the best of its ability. Let me explain. Where’s a bird’s natural habitat? Of course, in the air! What about a fish’s natural habitat? In water, isn’t it?

Birds exhibit amazing abilities when they are in their element; air. Fish swim so gracefully when immersed in water. Have you ever seen a bird that died from too much flying? Or a fish that died from drowning because it swam too much? Of course not! So, the question is, “Where’s my natural habitat”?

I’m glad you asked.

You were designed to fulfil purpose. God sent you to earth to discover it and die fulfilling it! Anything outside that purpose becomes an abuse of purpose. You’ve heard it said that “when the purpose of a thing is unknown, abuse is inevitable”. Look at the word abuse; what does it mean?Abuse is the compendium of two words. “ab” and “use”. “Ab” means abnormal and “use” of course, means to use. Therefore, to abuse means an “abnormal use”.

Are you using your gift abnormally?

I always say, “God’s greatest desire is for you to do for a FEE, what He created you to do for FREE”!Think about it. When we mention golf, what name comes to mind? Tiger Woods! Okay, what about free kicks? Beckham! Womens’ Tennis? Did I hear u say Venus or Serena Williams? Information Technology? Bill Gates! Inspirational/Motivational Speaking? Fela Durotoye, Steve Harris! Okay, so when I mention your name, what comes to mind?

I don’t mean to be rude, but if your name’s mentioned and nothing comes to mind, could it infer that your name is a code? A code is a group of undecipherable alphabets, symbols or numbers that you key into a system that sends you an error in return. Type this into your cellphone. #555*1*2*kmji12377839987*SEND. What does it give you? UNKNOWN APPLICATION!!! Therefore, if your name doesn’t come to mind for anything, do forgive me again, it’s an UNKNOWN APPLICATION! Now’s a good time to say God Forbid! Tiger Woods LOVES playing golf, it’s not a job to him, it’s fun! He gets paid to have fun! Jayjay Okocha has fun dribbling people and gets paid for it. You should see Fela and I do what we do, WE HAVE A BLAST speaking, it’s fun for us and we get paid huge sums!

Question is; what can you do for fun and still get paid for it?

Let me assist in curbing your dilemma. Would you r like to discover your natural habitat? Well, here are 22 questions that Fela Durotoye came up with, that I believe will help you. Here we go.

1. Am I happy with my results?
2. Would I like to grow doing what I do today?
3. Is what I am doing today using my natural talents and personality?
4. Would I like to be the best ever at what I am doing today?
5. What one thing do I need to do/ change that would make the greatest positive impact on my life?
6. Who is doing something closest to my dreams?
7. What would I like to be successful doing?
8. What area would I like to make a positive impact?
9. What would I like to be remembered for the most?
10. What mind blowing accomplishment would I like my name stamped on?
11. Michael Jordan - Basket ball, Tiger Woods – Golf, Bill Gates – Computers etc. What field would I like my name to define?
12. What do I do best with least effort?
13. What kind of assistance/ help do people ask me for most frequently?
14. In what area, do people show me the greatest regard/ respect/ accolade??
15. What can I do for fun and still earn money?
16. What frustrates me the most when it’s poorly done?
17. I usually lose track of time when I am…..?
18. I would like to win an award for excellence in….?
19. Which of all human needs touches my heart the most?
20. I am the solution, what is the problem?
21. Who has the problem? Describe as accurately as possible.
22. Which magazines/ discussions interest me the most?

Take some time out to honestly answer these questions and they will point you in the direction of your natural habitat. Let me know how you’re doing.

Till then,
BE GREAT. You can. You must. You will!
SteveHARRIS

SteveHARRIS is the Head, Consulting Group.
Visible Impact Limited
steveharris@visibleimpact.com.ng

2008-11-14T22:39:00.000+01:00

SEWN OR HOME GROWN?

What’s up people? What’s cracking?! Sometimes i consider one of my girlfriends from way back my own version of Gayle King, Oprah Winfrey’s best friend. Lets call her GF. Now GF was going through my first post and when she read that i bet 7inches of my hair on Harris’s soon- to- be- published book, she looked at me with a quzzical look and said:

“Nike, your hair is not 7inches long! “

Now hold up people! My hair has got potential! It can go from 2 – 7 inches in the span of a week , just depends on which i’m buying! LOL! Matter of fact, it can also go from blonde to jet black too! Now i know people are going to say hair extensions are artificial but if i’m buying it, it’s mine. Right? So i beg to reiterate that i will gladly “ sacrifice ” 7inches of my darling Yake or Expression for Harris’s book! Period! Sewn oh? Grown oh?...it’s still mine! CAN I GET A WITNESS?!!!

I’m sitting on my legs folded beneath me, wondering which one of the experiences i’ve had this week to share. I have gone over the file tagged “my recent documents” in my mind’s memory and hastily decided to delete my last three thoughts on what to write. Boring! But hey, there’s this one that stands out. It was a very engaging conversation! If you’re not a MSW( Maturing Single Woman) just stay with me, there’s something in this for you too!

WHO IS THE IDEAL GUY?
Like i said it was an engaging subject! My friend was saying that everyone should usually have an idea of the type of person they want to be with. The question was: who is the ideal man? Now before you think of the three cardinal virtues of the M&B hero (TD&H – Tall, Dark and Handsome) or a well- fed wallet and its generous owner, pause to ponder on a piece of writing i stumbled on from a loving father to his young daughter about to be married:

“ You are to feel for him all that reverence includes: To respect, defer to ,revere him- to honour, esteem, appreciate , prize , and in the human sense, to adore him, that is, to admire, praise, be devoted to , deeply love and enjoy your husband.”

Reading that, i had issues with some of the words like “reverence” and “revere". So i checked them out in the dictionary. The word “Reverence" for instance means to regard somebody with deep respect. My thoughts first settled (rather narrow- mindedly as i latter discovered) on why i would want to REVERE, DEFER TO, ESTEEM, REGARD WITH REVERENCE(??!!) some dude just like me! Then i quickly realised that the answer was in asking myself that very question! Eureka! My discovery was simple ladies and gentlemen; Whatever reasons would make you feel respect, reverence or regard for someone, that dude should exhibit! That was my light bulb moment!
So i went over all the words with the intensity of a magnifying glass:
· REVERENCE/RESPECT/ REGARD :The ideal guy should behave in such a way and do such things that command respect, things both impressive in themselves and in the manner with which they are done.
· DEFER TO: To defer to someone means to out of respect or courtesy (not fear or role play) submit to the judgement, opinion or wishes of another person.The ideal guy should be someone who has good judgement, whose wishes are for peace and welfare ,whose opinions are both wise and reasonable.
· APPRECIATE. I liked this one cos all i could dream of were the thoughtful and the simple gifts or the big and expensive! I’d sing “thank you ” on a pitching falsetto to the altar!( Ok Nike get serious!) Erhm! What i mean is the ideal guy will do things that will inspire feelings of appreciation.

Going over all the words one after the other, i started to ask myself with growing excitement: why wouldn’t i want to revere, defer to, respect, regard with reverence, praise, prize, venerate, notice, esteem, prefer and in the human sense, adore somebody who behaved himself in a manner that attracted respect, admiration, praise, attention, honour and so on?

So i ask you: who is the ideal guy? My dearest MSWs you have thirty minutes. DON’T log out. DON’T sign off. Think about those romantic verbs and exciting nouns and realise the qualities you are looking out for. Don’t forget to leave a comment. Good luck on this exercise.
And for all the MWLUs( Men Who Love Us), i know you have been reading with interest waiting to have your say, please make your comments too. I can’t ignore the fact that even on the best effort and the best behaivour of an ideal man as we have described him , a woman may not have all these feelings or show these virtues. But if you’re working at being the ideal man, it’s a good guide line. Imagine all the ladies who will willingly give up their front teeth in a cat fight over you if you were always doing things worthy of their respect or admiration!

Well i hope you’ve had just as much fun reading and commenting , as i have had staying up late writing. It’s 2am.My legs are stretched out in front of me now. (Yawn).Time to sleep...La er guys!

Shades of Meaning: Venerate: look up to , idolize, admire , adore. Revere: Be in awe of, hold in the highest regard. Regard: Look upon, consider, relate to, connect with, concern, involve, favour. Defer to: yield to, give way to, comply, agree to. Reverence: take your hat off to,pay tribute to.

2008-11-01T16:34:00.000+01:00

BREAKING THE ICE

Hola! I’ve been planning this blog for a while now and i’m excited it’s come to life! I love to write and i can always be caught either writing in a jotter, scribbling on a piece of paper or penning my thoughts in my journal. This year i decided to share my writing with a larger audience so i started contributing to a great Nigerian magazine called 234 Magazine (http://www.the234mag.com/). That was 10 months ago. I was introduced to a world of deadlines and learnt to write for a target audience under a specific theme .I also had to re-invent myself and developed a different type of writing “voice” from my usual narrative style which i use in private journals (i will refer to them as the omonaikee dairies on this blog and i should tell you that i always yell an emphatic “NO!” when someone asks to read them). Anyway, back to the story; My column called motivating the young takes off and i’m thinking “this is a lot of fun!”. So with my newly found confidence as a “public writer” , i’ve decided to add another few hundred words to my capacity to reach more people with this blog.

But i must confess, it is not only the love of writing or the consequent desire to master it that makes me touch finger tip to key pad. As my fingers chase themselves all over my QWERTY keyboard, i recognise that i am also nurturing the ambitious goal of making a positive impact on YOU, dear reader and all the potential visitors to this blog. I do not entirely know how i am going to do this yet, but i have set this “noble” goal for myself that YOU will benefit from giving me your time. I also don’t have all of the content completely figured out too but every fortnight i will share with you something interesting.informative.motivational and more (i know you want to know what “more” is ........shhhhh still working on it!). So I’d like you( if you will be so kind...) to get conversational and holler back with your thoughts and we’ll take it up from there.

Places in the HEART

Let me introduce a very interesting phrase i coined out of my bible and book study almost a year ago. I can’t remember now what book i was reading but these phrases just started to let themselves into my train of thought.”Places in the heart” refer (wait for it...) to the atitude of our heart towards God and towards people. Our hearts are full of atitudes. How we relate or respond to other people depends on the atitude of our hearts toward them.It is these atitudes that also decide how opened up or how closed up we are to the things God says or prompts. Heart atitude is hidden. We might not even notice it while its forming, until it gives birth to a tangible action that betrays the real state of our inside. I want to keep my heart atitude tender towards God.I want to be tender- hearted and yielding, easily influenced to reason with God not against or away from God. So i have created a space at the bottom of each post called “places in the heart”. It will influence your heart and affect your heart atitudes towards God and people.

HangingOUT withHARRIS

I first saw and met my buddy Steve Harris at a training facilitated by Visible Impact consulting. Harris works with Uncle Fela .(Fela Durotoye is the CEO of Visible Impact but even more impressive is the fact that he is a courteous, kindhearted, warm and genuine person with a distinctive humane quality about him). Harris is very passionate about what he does which is training and strategizing for service providers in different industries to help them create a world- class edge in their organizations. That’s just neat! He’s a great guy and he said to me while we were talking one day; ” You will not get rich on your salary”. I wrote it down and we kept talking and then he dropped another nugget : ” God’s greatest desire for you is to earn a fee doing something he created you to do for free!”. I also wrote that down, this time i wrote his name under the quote and decided that hanging with Harris was a valuable learning experience! So you are also going to be hanging out with him on this blog. In addition to his work as a business consultant and motivational speaker, he is presently working on his book and i can bet 7 inches of my hard-earned long hair that it will be a best selling success! So enjoy “hanging out with Harris” and enjoy my blog!!!